Page 88 of The Ice Queen in the Corner Office

I glared at her, but she grinned.

“Hey, I’m just glad not to be the one in trouble for a change.”

“Do you know anywhere I can go to punch things.”

“I know a place. Come on. I’ve got some workout clothes you can borrow.”

***

“I am officially done with men,” I said, staring into the golden amber of oblivion in the glass I held. “Done, done, done.”

May, sitting across from me at the small table we’d snagged in a crowded downtown bar, patted my hand. “Be done with men for now, Jilly, but don’t be done with them forever. I’ve never seen you as happy and at ease as you were with Alex.”

I grimaced. “You don’t know me. Maybe I’m like that all the time when I’m not around family.”

I regretted my words the instant hurt registered on her face, but she nodded. “You’re right. I don’t know you, but that’s not my fault. You’ve kept all of us at a distance. Today, right now, this has been the first time you’ve let me see you anything but put together and confident, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a hint that maybe your life isn’t perfect. It’s also the first time I’ve realized how scary you are - you punched the shit out of that bag at the gym.”

I grinned. “I kicked the hell out of it, too.”

“Did it make you feel better?”

I took another long swallow of my pale ale and shook my head. “I’m sorry, May. I never meant to shut you out. I just thought…I thought I needed to be strong for you and Mom and the others and I thought…I thought, if I just pretended hard enough I could believe that I was strong, that I was happy. Then I spent two days with Alex and I realized I’d been missing something, something really important. How did I not see that before?”

“I don’t know, but I do know you don’t need him or any other man to find it. Please, don’t close in on yourself again, don’t shut us all out.”

Her words and kind expression brought tears to my eyes. We’d spent the day together, first at the gym and then at a cafe for lunch, followed by a tour of the town and some shopping. I’d already had Christmas gifts for everyone sent to Mom’s, but I’d picked up a few more things for my family and got enough clothes and toiletries for me to get through the next couple days.

May had been patient and fun and compassionate, not at all the flighty, silly, selfish little girl I’d believed she still was. I’d been wrong about her and I didn’t want to lose her, not just as my sister, but as my friend.

“I promise,” I said. “I’ll call and whine to you about all my problems, and cry into the phone about my disaster of a love life.”

“Good.” She squeezed my hand. “I’m holding you to that.”

“When can I see more of your pictures?” While we’d toured the town, we’d stopped by the gallery that was selling May’s work, but I wanted to see more than just her tourist-friendly mountain views. I wanted to see it all, this new passion that made her eyes light with joy.

May had always liked to take pictures, had always enjoyed art, but I’d never taken it seriously, had never seen the potential for a career in what she did. I’d never believed I’d ever see May devote herself to anything as completely as she’d devoted herself to her art.

“Why don’t you come by my place tomorrow? I have to work the breakfast shift, but the restaurant is closing for Christmas Eve after that, so—”

“Hey, baby.” A man stepped up behind May and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing her neck as he hugged her from behind. May smiled and spun in his arms, hopping off the seat to wrap her legs around his waist and press a warm kiss to his lips.

I watched them, fascinated by May’s abandon. She didn’t care if anyone was watching, didn’t care if her emotions were on full display. I wondered what that must feel like, to live every day so open to every experience. Would it be the same as how I’d felt in the cabin with Alex, nothing held back, nothing feared?

May hopped off the man and faced me, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen from the kiss. “Jill, this is Anthony, my boyfriend. Anthony, this is my sister, Jill.”

Anthony smiled and shook my hand. He was polite and handsome, in a clean-cut, guy-next-door kind of way. Not at all the bohemian type I’d have expected May to go for. “Well,” he said. “I won’t interrupt your family time. I’ll see you later, May.”

He kissed her cheek and left us to join a table of guys on the other side of the bar. May’s smile couldn’t be bigger, but there was something empty about it, forced almost. “You never mentioned a boyfriend,” I said. “He seems nice.”

She shrugged. “He’s a good guy. He’s very serious and ambitious, pays all his bills on time, that sort of thing. Not the type I usually go for, but I…” She glanced over at the table where her boyfriend sat. He smiled and waved, clearly smitten with her. “He’s really nice, you know. He’d do anything for me and he’s…” She sighed. “He’s exactly the kind of guy I should want, but I just don’t feel that spark, you know? I’ve tried so hard, but I don’t feel it.”

I knew exactly what she meant, but only because I’d felt it with Alex. Prior to that, I’d assumed the spark was a myth, a fairy tale. “Have you felt it before, with anyone else?”

She sighed. “I’m being stupid. Anthony’s an amazing guy and I’m attracted to him. I mean the sex is fun and he’s a very generous—”

I held up my hand. “I love you, honey, but I’m still your big sister. I’m not ready to hear the details of your sex life.”

She grinned, shaking off her somber mood. “We’re not here to talk about me, we’re here to talk about you. What are you going to do next? Are you going to keep working for Alex?”

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