Page 61 of Stripped

“How much farther?” I asked.

“Almost there. Want me to carry you?”

I snorted. “I don't think so, tough guy. I got this.”

And I did have it. Not much farther up the mountain, Zane stepped us out of the trees onto a huge, flat boulder that jutted out from the side of the mountain. We weren't at the summit, not even close, but it still felt like we were on top of the world. Below us, the world was dark, but the moon lit our little boulder and above us, the stars twinkled more brightly than I'd ever seen them before.

Zane sat and stretched his legs out in front of him. “You can lay down here if you want,” he said.

I lowered myself, sat, then laid my head on his thigh. The boulder was surprisingly warm, the day's unseasonably warm sun and heat hadn't yet seeped out of it to be replaced by the cold night air. He laid three thick, cozy blankets over me, and I was still hot enough from the hike to be quite comfortable. I looked up at the stars and felt almost immediately as though I was among them, high in the atmosphere, their brightness warming me.

Zane placed a hand on my belly, looking down at me as I looked up at the stars.

“You're missing the show,” I said.

“No,” he said. His face was shadowed, bowed over mine, so I couldn't make out his expression, but I could hear the solemnity in his tone. “You're going to leave me soon. I can see the stars any time I want.”

Sadness rolled through me at the acceptance in his voice. It was what I wanted, but wanting it didn't make it easier. “I've dreamed of living in the city since I was a little girl,” I said, wanting him to understand. “My grandmother grew up there and she told me stories about the theaters and the lights, the busy streets and stores for everything you never knew you needed. She told me there was always something to do there, that no one was poor and everyone had enough to eat and wore gorgeous clothes. Now, I know she was telling me a story, that there is nowhere without poverty and hunger, but at the time… It sounded like paradise, like heaven, like Oz and Hogwarts and Neverland.” I sighed, studying the stars for a while, just drinking in the beauty. Zane was still, quiet, listening. I wished he'd give me some sign that he understood what I was saying, that it made sense why I had to leave, but he said nothing. “I've never been there, but I've read everything I can about it and my friend, Gage, tells me it's amazing. I'll be able to find a job there, a good job, doing something other than stripping or waiting tables. I'll be able to go to the theater, hell I can go to the movies without driving an hour, I'll be able to join some fancy exercise class and eat at a different restaurant every night. Gage says there's a dance club that stays open until six in the morning. I'll be able to dance all night if I want or eat gourmet pizza and go to bed early so I can get up for a job that happens when the sun is shining. And the people…” I sighed just to think about it. “I'll meet so many people. People who've seen the world, who've lived all over the world, who've had experiences wildly different from mine, who won't judge me for who I am or what I've chosen to do to make money. I'll be able to breathe in Denver. And, when I've saved enough money, I'll finally be able to travel, to see the ocean and the redwoods, the Eiffel tower and Big Ben. I'll be free.”

“Why haven't you ever been to Denver? It's only a few hours away.”

I shrugged, my head shifting on his thigh. “At first, I didn't have the money and I didn't have anyone to cover for me at The Booty Carousel. It was hard to get away and I… I decided that when I get to Denver, I want to be able to do it right. I want to be able to get a nice place in a good part of town, to be able to take my time looking for a job and just enjoy being in the city. I want to see some shows and shop at a farmer's market. I want to try out every hipster coffee shop and sign up for a dance class.” I sighed. “It's silly. I should have left years ago. I should have just gotten on a bus and figured the rest out when I got there.”

“You couldn't leave the dancers,” he said. “They depended on you.”

“Maybe. Or maybe they were just my excuse to hold off, because… What if it's not what I think it is? What if I go there and even with all those jobs, I can't find a decent one? What if they judge me because I was a stripper and I have to come back to Aspens Whiten with no dream?”

“None of that will happen. You're going to go there and you're going to amaze them all. You're going to own that city.”

I laughed at his certainty and his hyperbole. “I'll be happy just to make a decent living.”

“And I won't hold you back,” he said. “You should go. I'd go with you if I could… Maybe someday I will, but I can't leave the pack right now.”

“Thank you. If you ever do come to Denver, though, look me up. I'll always want to see you.”

He didn't speak, but he turned his gaze to the stars. I studied his face, etched by moonlight, all strong angles and planes, and my heart ached, maybe even cracked, because I knew he'd never come to Denver. I knew I'd probably never see him again. And I'd miss him. My eyes stung at the thought, my chest tightened and my stomach rolled like I was ill. Maybe I was. Maybe I was still suffering the aftereffects of Leopold's venom. Maybe the venom had made me emotionally weak, made me think I was falling for the worst possible man for me.

I looked back at the stars as the rock cooled and my yawns grew more frequent. Zane pulled me farther onto his lap and wrapped his warm arms around me. “I don't know how I'll stay awake to get back down the mountain,” I said.

“Shh. I've got you. Just sleep.”

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