Page 10 of Off the Wall

“But Phoenix isn’t random,” Becca persists. “Pamela knows him personally, so he’s fully vetted. And if you go out with him, your brother and I might be able to stop worrying about you for a little while.”

I bark out a laugh. “Newsflash: Nobody’s asking you to worry about me.”

“But what if Phoenix the lawyer ends up being the love of your life, and you’re just saying no on principle?”

Becca has a point. Idowant to find Mr. Right. And if going out with Pamela’s lawyer friend will give me even a short reprieve from their overprotectiveness, I guess I can make this one small concession.

“Fine. Pamela can give my number to her friend, Phoenix the lawyer. But please. Tell her texts only,nocalls.”

“Obviously,” Becca says. “I’m not a monster.”

“And if I end up being Mrs. Phoenix Something-or-other, Esquire, you’re in charge of figuring out how to monogram our towels.”

This pulls a chuckle out of Becca. “I promise to find out Phoenix’s real last name before your date.”

“Deal.”

“Either way, we’ll sleep better knowing you’re going out with someone we kind of sort of know.”

“Spoiler alert,” a deep voice interjects in the background. “Nori doesn’t care how we sleep.”

“Hey. Did you put me on speaker? You should’ve told me.”

“Maybe,” Becca admits.

“Well, good night, East,” I say in a singsong voice. “I love you toooo.” I make kissy noises loud enough for both of them to hear.

“Gross,” he says.

“Bye!”

I hit end, then move on to my next point of contact: Texting Keeley to let her know—cliché or not—she was right about that offer of an emergency call. Unfortunately, lamentably, indisputably right.

Me

I really should’ve agreed to your escape plan ten minutes into my setup with Warren Snuze. He’s the worst.

Keeley

OH NOOOO! Sorry, friend. Do you need a debrief re: the date? I’m out with Andrew, but I can pivot if you want me. He won’t mind.

Hmm. I actually feel like her boyfriend might mind, though. Andrew lives in the building too, and he’s not a bad guy, I’m just not one hundred percent sure he’s right for Keeley. Still, if I told her this, she’d probably double down on her commitment to him. Not because she’s stubborn. Because she’s loyal.

Me

I’ll be fine. And Hayden should be home soon anyway.

Keeley

She’s the better friend than I am. Noted.

Me

Ha, ha. Hayden didn’t offer me an emergency intervention tonight, so that’s debatable. And I’m definitely taking you up on that ten-minute phone call during my next setup. Thank you in advance.

Keeley

All the welcomes. Now go take a bath and have a glass of wine or something. PS: a gallon of butter pecan ice cream never hurt anyone.

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