Page 15 of Off the Wall

Cullen

The fact that your mind went there is the real problem.

Me

My mind went nowhere. Now go tell your wife she married a ridiculous man. And tell that baby girl of yours Uncle Cash loves her already.

Chapter Five

Nori

“Nooooo.”I let out a long, low groan. “I think my thong is missing.”

“Huh?” Hayden grunts, not looking my way. We’re in the living room watching the second half ofThe Bachelorette.We’re also eating Red Vines and folding laundry. It’s our Thursday night ritual. The coffee table is piled with clean clothes. Two laundry baskets sit at our feet.

“Scratch that.” I frown. “It’s definitely missing.”

“What’s missing?” Hayden’s eyes stay glued to the twelfth victim stepping out of the bachelor limo, even though she already saw this episode Monday. Personally, I watchThe Bachelorettewith mild enthusiasm, but Hayden’s addicted. The girl has watched every single season, including the ones they film in paradise.

Twice.

“My underwear,” I hiss.

“What underwear?” she asks, finally darting a quick look at me.

“The skimpy red thong you insisted on giving all your bridesmaids as a joke when you asked us to be in yourwedding party.” I toss a pink tank top on one of my piles without folding it. “Thatunderwear.”

Hayden grabs the remote and pauses the show. “I’ll have you know I bought those panties at Victoria’s Secret.” She sets the remote next to a mound of sock balls. “And I paid full price. They’re one hundred percent satin. Those panties aredefinitelynot a joke.”

I cringe. “Can you please stop saying the word ‘panties’ when the pair in question is currently MIA?”

“Fine.” She plucks a Red Vine from the package on the couch between us and aims it at me. “So where exactly did your rogue pair ofunderweargo?”

“I must’ve left them in the dryer.” I chew my lip, considering other options. “Or maybe they got stuck in the washing machine. There isn’t much fabric involved, so I might not have seen a small strip of red caught against the wall of the drum.”

“Hold on a minute.” Hayden takes a bite of Red Vine, then talks with her mouth full. “Is this your way of admitting you actually wore the red satin pant?—”

“Don’t say that word again.”

“Okay.” She swallows, choking back a laugh. “So you actually wore the gorgeous, full-priced, not-a-joke Victoria’s SecretunderwearI gave you?”

“I definitely did not.”

“Then why were you washing said underwear?”

“Because.” I lower my volume, like someone else in our apartment might overhear. Which is an impossibility since there’s only two of us living here. Soon to be one, after Hayden gets married. “I wanted them to be clean,” I say primly. “You know. Just in case.”

“In case your dinner with that lawyer tomorrow night goes better than last week’s date?”

I roll my eyes. “Any date would be better than WarrenSnuze.”

Hayden arches a brow. “And are we thinking you might find yourself in need of sexy lingerie?”

“Ha!” I snort. “I’ve never even met this guy before. So no lingerie of any kind will be making an appearance.”

“Then please explain why you washed a pair of underwear you have zero intention of wearing …just in case.” She puts those last three words in air quotes, and shifts her voice to sound like me. It’s an annoyingly accurate imitation based on two decades of listening to each other speak.

Our twenty-year friendship is full of pros and cons.

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