Page 111 of Love By The Falls

“What do you want to know? You can ask me anything.”

“Why did he leave?”

I wasn’t ready for that one. I don’t fully comprehend it myself.

“We were young and unprepared. He wasn’t ready to be a father then, but he says he wants to be there for you now.”

“Is he the baby’s father?”

I close my eyes briefly and rub my temples. “No. He’s not.”

Charlie looks up at Caleb. “Is he the father?”

I hate having this conversation with my son. I wish things weren’t so complicated. He deserves to have a simple family life like his friends have. I failed to give him that, too.

I reach for Charlie’s hand. “Yes,” I say. “He’s the baby’s father.”

He stares at Caleb and narrows his eyes while I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.

Charlie lifts his chin and asks Caleb, “Are you ready to be a father?”

25

Caleb

Charlie has his mother’s eyes. Their hold on me is stronger than a three-hundred-pound bodyguard. I’ve only known the kid for a few months, and yet his question punctures a hole in my heart. He’s had to deal with a lot in a short amount of time but is stepping into his big brother-role like a champ.

This boy has more integrity than some men I know.

No one has asked me if I’m ready. Not my brother, Brigitte, or even Charlotte. No one’s holding me accountable but Charlie.

I owe him the truth.

“I never planned to be a father. I never envisioned it. But that’s no excuse. I can’t tell you that I’m ready right now. That would be a lie. I don’t have a clue how to be a father. But I promise you, I will be ready when the baby comes.”

“You promise to be here when the baby is born?”

“Charlie,” Charlotte admonishes. But the kid is right. I should quantify what I mean by that. “I promise I’ll be at the hospital and be a part of the child’s life.”

Charlotte looks at me, searching my face for signs that I’m lying. This family has been through a lot, and I promise myself that I will be honest with them every step of the way.

Charlie stands up and puts out his hand. “Thanks for helping me with the bookshelf.”

I shake it. “Thanks for looking out for your mom. It takes a real man to do that.”

Charlie smiles and lifts his chin higher. “Do you want to play catch?”

Although I’d planned to help Charlotte buy things for the baby, I find myself wanting to spend more time with Charlie. “Let’s go.”

He races out of the room toward the front door, and I turn to follow him. But Charlotte pulls my arm back. Her eyes water and she bites on her bottom lip. “Thank you,” she whispers.

The words, ‘You’re welcome’ are at the tip of my tongue, and yet, I don’t say them. They don’t feel right. They’re not enough.

Instead, I lean down and kiss her bottom lip. I kiss her once, then again, until she wraps her arms around my neck and opens her mouth fully for me.

My body reacts to her kiss and I’m nearly out of breath when she pulls away. She’s smiling and touches her mouth with the tips of her fingers before turning around and walking out of the room.

I take a few minutes to inhale and exhale slowly before meeting Charlie outside.

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