“It’s why I drank. It’s why I eventually stopped. I got my life together, I went to college, I opened my practice… I tried toforget. Then Archer called me when I was with you and said he needed a favor.”
I watch him. “So you slept with me again to get closer to me.”
“No, it was after, it was—” He stands, grimacing. “They didn’t want you. They wanted him. He just asked me to listen for information, that’s all.”
“For a confession?”
He falters. “Yes.”
Blades of betrayal push into my heart. “So, it was all a lie?”
“No, it wasn’t. Denver, I love you.”
I shove him. “Don’t you fucking say that to me. That’s what you all say, isn’t it? ‘I love you, Denver. I didn’t mean it, Denver. Please fucking forgive me, Denver!’”I step back, shaking my head. “You used me.”
“If I didn’t love you, I’d have told them what you told me.”
“Oh, thank you so much, Ethan,” I spit out. “Thank you for not sending me to prison for killing a man who was going to kill me!”
Ethan’s mouth opens and closes. “I’m sorry, I really am, but I didn’t have a choice. I owed Archer. And Ranger is a piece of shit. Do you think I’d care if he got locked up?”
“Are you really so naive, Ethan? Do you really think I wouldn’t have gone to jail, too? You think they’d let me off?”
He takes a step toward me, but I move back.
Anger burns through whatever care I have left. It becomes ashes in the wind, fragments of what could have been if so much had been different. “You’re never to call me again, Ethan. Don’t speak to me if you see me. Don’t look in my direction. Don’t even think about me.” My voice breaks, and I hate myself for it. Regret shines in Ethan’s eyes, a tear falling down his cheek as I tear him apart with words that make me bleed, too. “As far as I’m concerned, we never met.”
“Denver, I’ll never tell them what you said. I promise you. I meant every word about us leaving, about getting you out of this place. I fucked up, but I love you.” He picks up a brown envelope, holding it out to me. “They’ll get you out. You, Axel, and me, but you can go anywhere. I’ve agreed everything with them. Just tell them?—”
“I’m not telling them anything,” I say, and despite my anger, I can’t stop myself from approaching him. “Ethan, I knew you for ten days and did everything to protect you from Ranger and this world I forced you into. I’m still protecting you, I always will, despite—” I falter, wishing I could work my anger back up. “So in what world would I ever turn on Ranger? Do you even know me at all?”
Ethan’s eyes are a war of pain and frustration. I understand it. I do. From the outside looking in, I’d beg myself to get out. But I’m not on the outside, and unless you’re in my life, you’ll never understand it.
I swallow. “Goodbye, Ethan.”
My hand is on the door handle when he speaks again.
“I’m sorry for lying to you. I am,” he says. “But I’ll never be sorry for trying to save you.”
I keep my back to him. “I don’t need saving from Ranger.”
“Not from Ranger,” he says. “From yourself.”
Ranger is leaningagainst his car, his face a mess of blood, his shirt ruined.
“Get in my car,” I snap as I pass. When he doesn’t follow, I stop and turn slowly to face him. “Ranger Luxe, get in my fucking car. You are not driving like that.”
He glares before striding past me and getting into the passenger seat.
The yellow streetlights illuminate the car as we drive in silence. Ranger stares out the window, and I grip the steering wheel, imagining it’s his neck.
“What the fuck were you thinking?”
Ranger slowly turns his head to face me. “I was going to kill your boyfriend. I’m sorry if that offends you.”
“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I hiss.
“And yet you sneak out to see him in the night.”