Page 44 of Paradise

“I don’t know. We should look it up.”

“Later.” Jonah kissed his bare forehead, and Garrett sighed and turned his face further into Jonah’s shoulder.

“I probably don’t deserve that.”

“Oh, you probably do,” Jonah mused. “I think you probably deserve a lot more, but you’re not gonna get any of it until we talk this out.”

“You sound tired. We can wait until you’re awake and alert.”

Jonah chuckled. “I don’t think so, darlin’. The more time you lie there and stew, the worse it’s gonna get. And I don’t fancy chasin’ your ass all over this compound in order to have words with you, so. Let’s talk.”

Oh, glorious.“Where do you want to start?” Garrett asked, starting to pull away, but Jonah put his head right back where it had been.

“Let’s start with why you let your meds slip. It’s not that hard to get ’em, right? You just use the gauntlet.”

“Right.” Garrett smiled, but it felt a little brittle. “Here’s the thing. Back on Pandora, I use the gauntlet about once a week. When I’m in a stable situation that I’m accustomed to, my symptoms are far less acute. I’ve actually been using less and less medication since moving in with you and Cody.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“It’s good,” Garrett agreed, “but then our situation changed. We came here, and the protocol is for me to check every day while away from home, but once we landed, my regular routine went to hell, and as the stresses built, so did my need for the stabilizers. When I missed a day and got a double dose the next day, the enhanced effect sent my confidence level skyrocketing, which made it easier to allow myself to miss the next day and the next.

“I had so much work to do, and I was worried about you and Cody fitting in, and, well, all sorts of things. It just got worse after you met with Kilroy. When I finally realized how far I was from all right, I knew I’d have to go under to get things set straight, but I still needed to be there for you.” Garrett swallowed hard. “So I put it off again.”

“And was this before or after you bugged me?”

Oh, so he knows about that. Shit.“After,” Garrett admitted. “I was having some problems by the time I bugged you, but mostly I was just … worried. And a little jealous. I made Robbie help me.”

“Oh, I’ve already had a long talk with that guy,” Jonah said sarcastically. “He doesn’t apologize easy, does he? And jealous? What in the world did I do to make you jealous?”

Garrett shrugged awkwardly. “Nothing. Jealousy is an irrational emotion, or haven’t you heard? I thought maybe you would reconsider, maybe you missed aspects from your old life that I couldn’t give to you.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Jonah sighed. “Darlin’. If anyone in this relationship has reason to be insecure, it’s me. I’m the one that’s an uneducated former smuggler with a natural kid and emotional baggage a goddamn mile long. You’re smart, you’ve got more degrees than I can count, and a pedigree that goes back to the founding of the Alliance. You’ve given up almost all the benefits of that to live on a Fringe colony makin’ a fifth ofwhat you could on other planets, with none of the entertainment I know you love, for me and Cody. I know we’ve had this talk before, but I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.” He tilted Garrett’s chin up and looked him in the eyes. “I’m crazy as hell in love with you, and I’m so goddamn grateful that you’re mine that I barely know how to face it.”

“Oh,” Garrett said, feeling his body start to respond to Jonah’s tone and close proximity and not minding that one bit. “Good. Me too.”

“That bein’ said,” Jonah continued, “if youeverput a slimdisc on me again, you and I are gonna have a hell of a lot more words to say than a simple apology.” He was dead serious. “You need to trust me for this to work. We have to trust each other. Otherwise, it’ll all fall apart. I’m not gonna do wrong by you, but you have to be up front with me. I want to know when you’re worried or sick or jealous or goin’ to pieces because when you hide it from me, it makes me think you don’t trust me to help you or explain. I know you were already off the meds when you made the call, but you still knew it wasn’t right.”

Garrett didn’t look away even though he really wanted to. “I knew it,” he said. “I’m sorry for doing it. I was going to tell you.”

“I know.”

“What happened with Jack?”

Jonah smiled, suddenly so easy and bright that it was a little shocking. “He’s not goin’ after Cody anymore. We’ve agreed to consider visitations, though. Cody wasn’t against it, and Jack seems to really want it.”

Well, at least thefirsthalf of all that information was welcome. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Garrett asked doubtfully.

“No, but there’s time to figure it out. I’m not gonna let the man screw up Cody, and neither will you.”

“Exactly, we can screw him up far more efficiently all by ourselves.”

“Cynic,” Jonah accused, nuzzling into the soft hair of Garrett’s temple. His erection surged to life at the simple touch, and Garrett groaned. Coming out of a major Regen treatment temporarily gave him the libido of a teenage boy. “Ah, the doc warned me about that,” Jonah said, and he sounded like he was trying not to laugh. “Said I should be gentle with you for a while ’cause you’re bound to be sensitive.”

“I’m not sensitive, I’m horny,” Garrett informed him loftily while trying to rub against his hip. “There’s a difference.”

“Yeah?” Jonah reached down between them and palmed Garrett’s cock, and even through the lightweight scrubs he was wearing, it was enough to make Garrett hiss and clench his teeth. “Seems like both to me.”

“Lucky me,” Garrett snarked. “Or really, lucky you because while I might be on a hair trigger, I can come and come and come, and everything should be nice and”—he squirmed a little—“tight.”

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