Page 40 of Winds of Destiny

“Say it more quietly,” Kai advises before heading over to us. He holds his hand out to help Cam to his feet, and I mourn the loss of Cam’s body against mine even as I realize that it’s a necessity.

Then he holds his hand out to me. I take it, and the ease with which he lifts me up is a bit shocking. I haven’t shared many touches with Commander Kai, and I don’t know why I’m so surprised by his strength—Idohave eyes, after all—but I am.

“Thank you,” I say, a bit breathless for no good reason.

“You’re welcome.” He doesn’t let go until I make the first move to pull away, and even then he steps up behind me and escorts me almost the way he does with Cam, one hand hovering over my lower back.

Dinner is a blur, the same things we’ve been eating this whole time, only in smaller quantities after we gave so many of our supplies to the refugees from Traveler’s Ease. I hope Jeric gets them to Zephyth without any more loss of life. Those poor children… Yet, at least they’re not alone. There are others of their people to remember with them, to mourn with them. That’s more than some people get.

It’s more than I got.

It takes a moment for me to realize that Cam is trying to get my attention. “Turo,” he says, “come on. Grab your bedroll and bring it with you.”

Right, my bedroll. This might be the first time ever that Cam has remembered a practicality before I have. I retrieve my pack from the wagon and grab everything I should need for the night, do a quick rinse with some of my own store of our precious water to ensure I don’t smell up their tent, then join them there.

Cam is closest to the opening, lying on his side so that he can see me the moment I crawl in. Kai is up against the far wall on his back, one massive arm tucked beneath his head as a makeshift pillow. Cam smiles and pats the ground beside him.

For all that this tent is bigger than any I’ve ever slept in before, it’s still a bit of a tight fit with three people spread across the floor of it, especially when one of them is as big as Kai. It gets a bit roomier when he rolls onto his side, snuggling up tight to Cam.

As I settle down in the space they’ve left for me, I try not to focus on the sounds they’re making, the soft intimacies of one body moving against another in a quest for a comfortable way to lie together. This close to Cam, this warm and wanted, I might actually be able to sleep for more than a few minutes tonight.

Then Cam moans, and my eyes fly open.

It’s still light outside, but I would know Cam even if it was pitch-black. There’s not an inch of him that escapes my notice. His back is pressed to Kai’s chest, their legs entwined. Kai’s mouth is pressed to Cam’s neck, biting and sucking, and Cam has one hand buried in his lover’s hair. The other one lies between him and me, his fingers curling and straightening like he wants to grab me as well.

I should leave. I should definitely leave.

“Stay,” Cam whispers, his tone demanding and begging all at once. “Stay, just—please. It’s the last night, I want you here, please stay with us.”

“I can’t…” I want him, I want him so much and heknowsit, but I’ll be nothing but a husk of a man if I give in and let myself have what I want. After tonight, Cam isn’t mine anymore. If I don’t want to break into a thousand useless pieces, I have to stay strong.

Kai lifts his mouth from Cam’s neck with a slick, sucking sound. “You don’t have to do anything but watch. Or,” he adds in a sly tone of voice, “you could tell us what you want and we’ll do it.”

What I want?As in…move them how I want? Make a pretty picture of them to carry in my head for as long as I live? See how Cam looks in the throes of pleasure, even if I’m not the one bringing him there?

“You like that idea,” Cam says, his breath hitching as Kai’s hand slides across his chest, the thumb rubbing circles around one of his nipples. “I can tell. I know you. Iknowyou.” He reaches out again, and this time I take his hand. When my lips touch the back of it, the tenderest kiss I can impart right now, his fingers convulse.

“I’ll stay.” It’s inevitable, a whirlpool that I have no hope of escaping. If this is the only chance I’m ever going to allow myself, then I’m going to make the most of it. “And the two of you will do exactly as I say.”

Cam moans, an encouraging sign, and from the little I can gather of Kai’s face, he seems to be grinning.

I’ve waited outside enough bedroom doors and listened to enough nights out on these plains that I have a very good idea of what Cam likes. He’s going to get it all…eventually. I keep my eyes on Cam while directing my words at Kai. “He likes to be touched. Slow and firm…”

Kai follows my lead, running his hands over Cam’s chest, gripping the slim muscles there before soothing them with a firm press of his palm. Cam sighs into each touch, losing himself to the sensations, but a squeeze of my hand has his eyes right back on mine.

I lick my lips at his heated gaze. “What really makes him lose his mind, though, is a little bit of pain… Pinch his nipple.”

“Mean,” Cam whines, which is an absolute lie—he loves it, and his response when Kai squeezes down is gratifyingly enthusiastic.

His gasp and the way he writhes against Kai leaves me dizzy with want and rock-hard. “Now the other one. Twist it.”

Kai grins even harder as he obeys and Cam makes the most delicious sound. “Oh, he likes that,” Kai says, doing it again, this time leaning over to lick at the hard nub.

For Cam, pain and pleasure meld into a place where all his worries vanish. I don’t know enough of bedroom arts to ensure he stays there, but there’s something special about seeing Cam’s big, beautiful eyes lose the sharpness they always seem to carry and go hazy with nothing but need. When he moans my name…

I sit up and kiss the back of Cam’s hand once more before reluctantly letting go. “Put him on his back and use your teeth.”

A thrill races up my spine at how Kai responds to my command, with no hesitation and with the same urgency I’m feeling. Cam arches his back as Kai nips at his chest this time, playing Cam like a lyre. He’s hard, the thin fabric of his sleep pants tented. I can’t see Kai, but I assume he’s the same.

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