Page 127 of Empty Net

I can’t even fault them for that. I have it coming, and we all know so. Apparently “time” means minutes, since the second we get back to the changing room, Lawson pretends to propose to Hayes, and he’s all dramatic screams as he accepts. It’s fucking ridiculous and over the top and just enough to distract me for a few minutes. It’s officially the quietest my mind has been in days, but it doesn’t last long, as I reach into my bag and my fingers collide with something foreign.

I pull it out and am surprised to find the tiniest turtle I’ve seen yet, no bigger than a thimble and cute as hell.

Lilah.

“That from her?”

I turn to find Hutch still hanging around, his bag slung over his shoulder.

I nod, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, it’s from her.”

“What is it?”

“A turtle.”

He frowns, not understanding, but he doesn’t question it. “Have you talked to her at all?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet. I’m…I’m giving it time, you know?”

He nods. “Sometimes that’s all you can do. And if it doesn’t work, then… Well, fuck, I don’t know what, but you’ll be okay. It’s going to suck, but you’ll come out the other side.”

“Like you did after being left at the altar?”

He looks surprised I’ve brought it up. It’s something he’s mentioned in passing before but hasn’t gone into great detail about.

“No, not like that.”

I pull my brows together. “Are you saying you’re not over that, then?”

“No. I mean, yes, I’m over that.” He scratches at his short beard. “The whole being-left-at-the-altar thing… I know I don’t talk about it a lot, but it’s complicated. I was fucking crushed for a long time and had a huge chip on my shoulder because of it. But the more time I had away from it, the more I realized it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought I knew what love was back then, and I was wrong. I had no fucking clue. I was just going through the motions with proposing. Thought it was what I was supposed to do, you know? But it wasn’t right. We weren’t in real love, and I didn’t realize that until Auden came along.” He smiles softly. “Then I knew. It was real. Itisreal with her.”

“And if something happened with you and Auden? Would you survive that? Would you come out the other side?”

He floats his mouth open, then snaps it shut, like he’s never even considered the option of them not working out. I wish I were that confident in Lilah.

“No. I don’t think I would. But I also don’t think about it, and it’s not something you need to be thinking about either. You’re talking like you’ve already given up, like Lilah’s already made up her mind.”

I roll the tiny turtle between my fingers. “What if she has? What if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“She does.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I am. Because I know her. Because I know you. Because it’s impossiblenotto love you.”

I look up at him, unable to keep from smiling at the sour look on his face.

He crosses his arms over his chest. “Shut up.”

“You getting soft, Hutchy?”

“That’s it.” He backs away, holding his palms up. “I’m out. You’re starting to sound like Lawson, and I can’t handle two of him.”

I chuckle as he disappears around the corner, and I sit there, still playing with the turtle. When did she even slip this into my bag? How long has it been in there? Was it recent? Is it a sign?

“Hey, Fox?”

I lift my head. “Hmm?”

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