Page 48 of Playing for Keeps

Juniper spits out a laugh. “There’s nothing more serious to me than someone threatening my family, and that includes you, dear. I’m going to leave some names on the counter. What’s on your plate today?”

I scrunch up my face, trying to think. “I know I was going to help with some Scale Up classes later…”

Juniper stands and slaps her thighs. “Well, that means we have a few hours to make some calls and try to get something scheduled for you, right?”

I think about my discomfort with this idea and my reluctance to bare my soul to a stranger. Although I just met this woman, but I trust her because I trust Gunnar. Juniper believes therapy could help me feel better and navigate the turmoil happening outside my relationship.

I owe it to Gunnar to try this. I’m not sure why my stupid instinct was to run away … to where? With what resources? I take a shaking breath. “Okay,” I tell my mother-in-law. “I’ll give it a shot.”

Juniper urges me to shower and clean up while she checks her contacts, and by the time I re-enter the kitchen, she has a short list of a few names. She offers to stay and support me when I start making calls, but I don’t want to take up all her valuable time, and I really don’t want to make these calls in front of anyone else, so she heads out with a promise to check in throughout the day.

I leave voicemails for the first two women on Juniper’s list, but I’m taken aback when someone answers the phone on my third try.

“This is Zara. How may I help?”

“Oh.” I cough. “Hi. I was hoping to check if you’re accepting new patients...clients.” My voice wavers.

“Yes, I am.” The therapist sounds excited. “Would you like to do a brief intake now? I had a cancellation this morning.”

“Oh.” I grip the phone tighter. “I don’t know what that entails.”

“Well,” Zara responds, “how about you tell me what brings you to therapy, and we can start from there?”

“I…” I glance down the hall to the trophy-cello room, thinking of Gunnar. “I recently got married. Sort of impulsively. And it’s bringing up a lot of…family stuff.”

“Hm. I see. Do you want to elaborate a little?”

“My father is very controlling,” I admit, licking my lips and standing to pace the apartment as I talk. “He’s trying to sabotage my marriage by spreading rumors to damage my husband’s career. I was considering leaving my husband to make my father stop, but …” I swallow hard. “I don’t want to do that. And I’m scared of what will happen if I stay.”

I hear the scratch of pen on paper in the background, and Zara’s voice is pointed when she asks, “Are you physically safe right now? Tell me more about being scared.”

“I’m safe.” I feel the truth of it as I say the words. “I’m physically safe. My husband and his family say they have everything under control with lawyers. But I’m not accustomed to feeling this way.”

Zara hums again in the silence after my confession. “Not used to feeling safe?”

I nod, remembering she can’t see me, and say, “Right. I’m … I’ve always been on edge around my father.”

She hums again, and the pen continues to scratch as she presumably takes notes on my dramatic response to all this. “Emerson, have you been in therapy before?”

I can’t help the laugh that slips out as I tell her, “Um, no. That’s never been on the table.”

“Well, I’m very glad you called and chose to start now. I want to ensure you understand that you deserve to feel safe and protected, and working in therapy can help you achieve that.” My breath comes rapidly, and I sit on the floor, absorbing Zara’s words. “You are allowed to be happy, Emerson. Would you like to schedule an appointment and get started?”

In a haze of adrenaline, I tell her I’m wide open during the daytime hours. I locate the insurance card Gunnar left for me and provide Zara with all the information, scheduling an appointment for the next day. I’m stunned by how much better I feel when we hang up the phone.

CHAPTER 32

GUNNAR

My pre-game routinein Minnesota feels different tonight. Not just because we're on the road but because I can hear Emerson's laugh floating down from the family section during warmups. She's up there with Cam and Essence, all three in matching jerseys with their guy’s name on the back. This will be her first time watching me play on the road, and I like having her there for me.

It’s been a long week with a lot of hard conversations every evening. Emerson invited me to join her for one of her therapy sessions with Zara, where I learned about how people respond after spending their whole lives with parents like Emerson’s. I’ve only met my in-laws once, during that unfortunate time in New York, and I have absolutely no desire to share space with them ever again. I’m afraid I’d throttle them for what they’ve done to my wife’s central nervous system.

Luckily, I’m way on board for Zara’s plan to shower Emerson with love and encouragement. If I toss in some really incredible sex, that’s just gravy.

I adjust my pads and watch Grentley take his place in the crease for the first period. The guy's been less of a dick lately.Still won't look me in the eye most days, but at least he's stopped trying to shoulder-check me in the locker room.

My phone buzzes in my stall—a notification that Emerson has posted another photo to her social media. I grin at the image—her between Cam and Essence, all making fish faces at the camera. The caption reads, "Still don't understand icing but loving game day with my PAWs!”

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