Page 28 of Beck

He didn’t have time to panic at the direction of his thoughts because Kole took his complete focus and as Kole came down his throat…Beck came hands free, shooting his load into his trousers, his gaze still on Kole’s face.

As Kole’s cock slipped from his mouth and his breathing returned to some semblance of normal, a band tightened around his chest. He dropped his gaze to the floor but couldn’t find the energy to move from his submissive position.

“Beck?”

The band tightened further, and he gasped for air, scoring his nails through his skin to get to his lungs.

“Beck!”

Black dots swam across his gaze, and he closed his eyes, trying to swallow but finding his mouth as dry as a desert.

“Shit. Beck!”

Hands rested on his back, warming his chilled skin, and pushed his head down towards the floor. Beck didn’t resist. He listed to the side, falling against something immovable, and he tried to breathe, tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing, tried to think.

“Breathe for me, Beck. Inhale, one, two, three, four, and exhale, one, two, three, four. Inhale, one, two, three, four, and exhale, one, two, three, four. That’s it. Keep following my words.”

The continued instructions helped him to focus, and he found his chest easing, his head clearing, his eyes focusing again. Eventually, he came back into his body proper and found himself curled up against Kole’s body, his arms around his waist while his face was buried in his lap. Fingers carded through his hair, and he focused on the sensation and the soft words rather than anything else.

“Are you back with me, Beck?”

“Mmhmm.”

A heavy sigh from above him. “Thank fuck.”

Despite not wanting to move, he needed to because as the numbness of his body retreated, the aching from how they were positioned slowly made itself known. He opened his fists, which had gripped onto the waistband of Kole’s joggers, and hissed at the pain in the joints.

“There’s no rush,” Kole said, but there was.

He pressed his aching hands into the floor, pushing his body up and off Kole’s legs, grimacing with each movement. His legs were a pincushion of pain, and he tumbled to his ass when his legs protested. Kole caught him before he hit the wall behind him, but then he rested slowly back against it and sighed. He needed to explain, but he couldn’t look at Kole right then. He saw when Kole rose on unsteady feet, and Beck wanted to stop him from leaving, but it was what he deserved. He was a burdento everyone he met. Always had been. It was why he’d kept himself to himself and never slept with anyone more than once.

A glass appeared in his line of vision, and his mouth watered. He took it with shaking hands, and with Kole supporting his hands, he took a drink. The more he drank, the calmer he felt. When the glass was drained, he sighed again, knowing it was time.

“I’m—”

“Shall we have a shower? I could do with warming up. You coming?”

Kole held out his hand, and Beck couldn’t stop his gaze from darting up to his face, eyes taking in every nuance. Nothing in his expression said he was upset or angry or confused or…anything negative, actually. It was inviting, a small smile on a beautiful face.

Beck nodded slowly, slipping his hand into Kole’s, the man helping him stand when his legs still didn’t want to support him as well as they usually did. Without making any comment on it, Kole slipped his arm around Beck’s waist and guided him towards the bathroom, where he settled Beck on the closed toilet seat before turning on the shower.

“After our shower, I was thinking we could settle under the covers and watch a movie. Or would you prefer some trash TV? I’m not usually one for that, but I could make an exception if that’s your cup of tea.” He winked. “Or coffee.”

He gestured for Beck to stand, which he did, and then dragged his trousers down his legs without preamble, ignoring the mess coating Beck’s skin, even as he grimaced at the dried come on his skin. Kole undressed himself and held out his hand again. Beck slipped his hand into Kole’s warm grip and climbed over the edge of the bath and under the spray. Kole followed, flicking the shower curtain around them to enclose them. Kole grabbed theshower gel, squirted some into his palm and rubbed it over the tattooed wings of Beck’s chest.

Beck swallowed hard and lifted his head so the water dribbled down over his face, hiding the tears leaking from his eyes even as he hyper-focused on Kole’s ministrations. When Kole turned him, the tears fell harder, and he tensed to stop the sobs from breaking free completely. He worked hard to get himself under control by the time Kole reached his feet, and when Kole turned him again, he was fine. Well, as fine as he could be.

“My turn,” he croaked.

Kole smiled, his eyes lighting up. “I’ll never say no to that.”

Beck took his time, enjoying the experience of smoothing his soapy hands over Kole’s delectable skin. He couldn’t quite meet Kole’s gaze, but his body relaxed with each passing moment.

When they were both cleaner than they had probably ever been, Kole flicked off the shower and dragged the curtain back so they could climb out. Drying off was another testament to his willpower, when Kole dried him and he returned the favour. Wrapping the towels around their waists, they headed to the bedroom. Kole grabbed the TV remote from the bedside table and climbed into bed, dropping the towel to the floor without a care in the world, so Beck did the same, though he put the towel over the back of the wooden chair near the bed.

Kole snuggled up to his side, and Beck lifted his arm over his shoulder, allowing Kole to rest against his chest. “Any preference?”

“Whatever you want.” Beck’s voice was like gravel, his emotions held tightly in check. He stared at the screen, not seeing what Kole was doing. Instead, he was reliving everything they had done in the kitchen. It was everything he had ever wanted, and nothing he could have because he couldn’t give just anyone that amount of control, and he refused to ruin Kole by giving it to him without knowing how Beck could react. Therewas no telling what could happen if he did. The one and only time he had allowed someone that close, that deep, had ended with the guy in the hospital. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that to Kole. But how could they go back to the way they’d been before?

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