Page 3 of Beck

Kole snorted. “Where’s your jacket?”

“I left it at the hotel when we ran out earlier.”

“Are you part polar bear? Jeez.”

Beck chuckled. “I wish.” He shivered and sped up when Kole did. “Did you enjoy tonight?”

Kole nodded. “I did.” He glanced at him and then forward again. “Thank you for the dance.”

“You’re welcome. I’m always happy to dance.”

“Not always,” Kole murmured, acknowledging the event Beck had wanted to ignore.

He didn’t reply, not sure what he would say if he opened his mouth with everything being so close to the surface as it was. Kole stepped in front of him just before they went through the front door of the hotel, and Beck stopped, meeting his gaze.

“You don’t need to tell me anything, but I wanted to say…if thereissomething you want to get off your chest, you cantalk to me. I’m a good listener. Though you might already have someone, so if you do, you can ignore this. I was just wanting to let you know that I’m…here…if you need it.” He inhaled, having evidently run out of air from that monologue.

And despite Beck’s stomach churning at the idea of sharing that which he’d never shared with anyone, he found a smile. “Have you replenished your oxygen levels now?” he teased instead of answering.

Kole rubbed his face and sighed. “Yes, thanks.”

Beck shivered again, his teeth setting a record for how loud they could be when they chattered, and he gestured to the door. “Can we get inside now?”

Kole cursed and pushed through the door to the hotel, holding it open for him, and Beck groaned as heat enveloped him, chasing away the frigid January air.

“Not a polar bear, then.” Kole snorted, heading for the lifts, and Beck followed, studying the recent addition to their crew in the mirrored doors as they waited. Kole stood straight, his eyes lowered to the floor, but his head kept tilting whenever there was a noise behind them and his throat bobbed.

When the doors finally opened, Kole scooted across the threshold faster than a rabbit being chased by a fox, and Beck stepped in front of him, allowing him to stay behind him if he needed it, and pressed the button to close the doors. Someone yelled for them to hold the lift, but Beck didn’t.

Kole chuckled behind him. “That wasn’t kind.”

“I thought I was being extra kind. We don’t need to share.” He leaned back against the handrail and crossed his arms over his chest, keeping his attention on the floor instead of the man beside him.

“I still struggle some days,” Kole said after a long silence, and Beck peered across at him. Kole stared at the numbers on the display, increasing with each floor they hit. “I hate it,” hemurmured. “I hate that he’s changed who I am.” Kole blinked, glanced at Beck and then to the floor. “Sorry.” He huffed a small laugh.

The lift dinged, and the doors opened. They were in rooms next to each other, and Beck stopped beside Kole’s as he fumbled in his pocket for the key. Beck wanted to say something to acknowledge what he’d said, but he wasn’t sure what.

“Thanks for the company,” Kole said with a smile when he opened his hotel room door. “I appreciate it.” He stepped inside, but before he shut the door, Beck found his voice.

“You’re still you. You’re just a shaky version of yourself at the moment. You’ll find your balance again soon.” Beck nodded and turned away, unable to believe the words coming from his mouth.

He clicked open his door and paused when Kole called his name. Glancing down the corridor, Kole’s head and shoulder peered around the door frame.

“And you’re still you. Whatever happened, you’re still you.”

Kole disappeared, and Beck entered his room, closing the door softly behind him. And as he sank to the floor and dropped his head into his hands, he considered Kole’s words.

Having his childhood ripped away from him had left little time to figure out who he was. He’d learnt to get by, to withstand, to survive.

He had no idea who Beck Cavanagh really was.

****

Chapter 2

Kole

Kole Peterson found it easier to fall asleep than he’d thought it would be, and when his alarm woke him the next morning, he stretched his arms above his head and his feet until cool air touched them before pulling them back into the covers again. He rolled to his side and stared at the light, weakly straining past the edges of the curtains.

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