Page 35 of Beck

Stepping into Kole’s bedroom again, Beck saw things he hadn’t taken the time to notice the first time around, like a lone photograph on the shelf opposite the bed. He moved closer, leaning down to see it more clearly. What looked like a teenage Kole was standing in front of his parents with huge grins on their faces at the beach.

Kole came to stand beside him. “I had just turned sixteen, and my parents thought a beach trip would be a good birthday celebration.” He chuckled. “It’s not like I saw the beach every day. Auntie Ava took this photo, and she’d just said something funny enough to make us all laugh.”

Beck had few and far between beautiful memories like that. He took one last glance and turned to the bed. “Thank you for…” He waved his hand towards the bed.

“Well, I’m being selfish, really.” Beck raised his eyebrows and waited. “You’re like a furnace, so I won’t need the extra blanket I often do.”

Beck chuckled and shook his head, tension leaving his body again, and suddenly, his body felt so heavy, like he couldn’t lift his limbs. Kole must’ve seen some change in him because he led him to the bed, unfastened Beck’s trousers and dragged themdown. They stopped at his shoes, but that didn’t deter Kole. He pushed Beck to sit on the bed and took off his shoes, socks and trousers.

“Do you want to take your shirt off, too?” he asked.

Beck nodded, unable to make his tongue work. Kole lifted the shirt from him, yanking it over his head.

“Come on. Lay down.” He lifted the covers and encouraged Beck backwards. The covers fell over him, and Beck turned to his side, punched his hands into his pillow and was gone.

****

Chapter 12

Kole

As Beck’s breathing deepened, Kole’s heart broke all over again. He had so many possibilities floating through his head about what had happened to Beck, but unless he was willing to talk, Kole could do nothing. But at least he could offer his bed, even if it was for comfort rather than sexy times.

Needing a minute, he left the room and headed for the kitchen to grab a glass of water for them both. He drank one while he stared across the apartment, not really seeing anything. Where had Beck been all afternoon? Why had he run? They were questions no one could answer. Kole had messaged Joey and Ethan when Beck had called him to let them know he was okay, but he hadn’t sent any other updates. What could he say? Beck was physically all right, but that was about it. He wasn’t sure how much anyone else knew, and he refused to break confidences by asking, so it was a case of leaving it as it was and seeing what happened when Beck woke.

It certainly gave Kole a level of reassessment of his own situation. Even though he didn’t know what happened in Beck’s past, Kole’s mind went to abuse of some kind, which, in his opinion, was significantly worse than just being hit a few times. He wasn’t undermining what he’d been through, but it was a lot easier to push it aside when he had Beck to focus on. Was that healthy? Maybe not, but he wouldn’t stop it from happening. Ifhe could, he would forget all about that asshole and never think of the incident ever again.

He wandered to the doorway of his bedroom and rested his head against the frame while watching Beck sleep. Letting out a long, soft sigh, he allowed his heart to voice its wants.

It wanted Beck in his bed from that moment forward.

Hewanted Beck in his bed from that moment forward.

****

Kole and Beck fell into a routine of sorts. They would work and then Beck would leave, eventually turning up on Kole’s doorstep, where they would share a late dinner and fold themselves into bed. And every time, Beck would disappear before Kole woke, leaving a “Thank you” note behind. It didn’t worry Kole as much as it had the first time. He would see him again. Nothing else sexual had happened between them, but Kole found it reassuring to have someone else not only in the apartment but in his bed, and it both worried and eased him.

Then three weeks later, Beck didn’t turn up. Kole put a movie on and settled on the sofa, obsessively checking his phone every few minutes in case he hadn’t heard the notification of a message or call, even though it was in his hand. His gaze darted between his phone, the door, the TV and the window as the sky darkened further until the film ended and he sat in the glow of the screen wondering whether Beck was all right.

Did he have the right to call and ask him if he was coming? It wasn’t something they’d discussed; it had just started happening. Would he push Beck further away if he did call? Had something happened to him? Was he in a hospital somewhere and no one had told him?

His mind went through every potentially bad thing that could’ve stopped Beck from getting to his house, and by the end, his hands shook and his breathing came in ragged spurts. When he noticed, he clenched his hands into fists and closed his eyes, working through the breathing exercises the therapist had told him to do until he calmed. Then he grabbed his phone again and messaged Ethan.

KOLE: Hey, do you know where Beck is?

He didn’t expect a message straight away, so he set about cleaning the apartment, and even though it wasn’t exactly dirty, he made good use of his scrubbing brush against the wooden floors—something he’d been saying he needed to do and had never had the energy to do.

When his phone chimed, he jumped for it, almost knocking the bucket of water over, and checked his messages.

ETHAN: He’s gone to Paris. Annabelle requested another appointment. Is everything okay?

The air left his lungs in a rush, and he dropped his chin to his chest. Beck was fine. He was working. After a moment of regaining his equilibrium, Kole replied, trying to tactfully say he was just wondering.

KOLE: Yeah, everything’s fine. I just hadn’t heard from him. Sorry to message you so late.

A few seconds later, Ethan’s name flashed up on his screen, and Kole groaned and then answered.

“Hey.”

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