Page 55 of Beck

“I love you,” Beck said, unable to keep it in.

Kole smiled. “I love you.”

Beck lurched up, fusing their lips in a kiss as soft as it was harsh. Kole responded in kind, and they tangled for a while, slowly decreasing the intensity while increasing the fire. Kole manoeuvred him onto his back again, and the feeling of Kole being fully dressed against his nakedness sent fuel through his body. He wanted that man with a burning he couldn’t explain, but his body knew, as did his subconscious. His conscious mind was beginning to catch up. Finally. Although…

“Get undressed,” he said when he pulled away for air.

“Soon.”

Beck shook his head. “Now. I feel like…” He paused, shaking his head, not wanting to explain, but when he glanced at Kole, he saw patience. “I feel like you’re ready to leave.”

Kole dropped a kiss on his lips and lifted from him, standing beside the bed. Beck instantly missed his warmth, but that fire roared when Kole’s fingers went to his buttons. It didn’t take long, and Kole didn’t take his eyes off him the whole time. Then, not even three minutes later, Kole was back, the warmth of his skin sliding over Beck’s as he returned to his previous position.

Cradling Beck’s face in his hands, Kole said, “You can always ask for anything you want or need. No matter what it is, don’t be afraid to ask. I will never curb your ability to choose the best option for you. I might ask you to do something, but I will never make it an order you can’t disobey if you need to. Do you understand?”

He did. Kole was giving him the control, even as he was taking it from him. Something Beck had never thought he could allow anyone to do. Drake had taken his control away from him, and he hadn’t been able to stand anyone else having that again. Until now.

He told Kole as much.

“Thank you for giving yourself the chance,” Kole said. “You are the bravest man I know.”

Beck shook his head. “You make me feel brave.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Kole stared at him for a second and then lowered his head.

The kiss started slow but soon heated. Kole’s fingers were everywhere, skimming across his skin. A sea of goosebumps followed, making him shiver. As their lips separated, Beck dropped his head back, giving Kole room to reach his neck. His kiss-swollen lips continued the path down his body, focusing far too briefly on each of his nipples before moving lower. Beck’s cock loved the attention, twitching and leaking with every nip and lick, and he raked his teeth over his lips to contain his groans. At least until Kole met his gaze and said, “Let me hear it, Beck. I want to hear everything.”

Beck gripped the sheets by his sides, fisting the fabric to keep himself from grabbing Kole by the hair and putting him where he wanted him. The place weeping and aching for him.

And the place Kole wrapped his hand around.

“Holy fuck, Kole.” He repeated the refrain when his lover’s mouth encased his cock head but couldn’t keep his eyes away from him. Watching his dick disappear into his mouth was one of the hottest things he’d ever witnessed, and feeling it at the same time was mind-blowing. He was right on the edge almost immediately. He panted to keep as much control as he could, but what Kole was doing with his tongue should have been illegal.

When Kole lifted his head, Beck dropped his back to the pillow, his chest heaving.

“You okay?”

Beck swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. Bloody hell. Where did you learn that?” He glanced at Kole. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. I’m just glad you did.”

Kole grinned. “Glad my experience has helped.” He licked his lips. “Where is your lube?”

Beck reached for it and handed it over, barely moving from his position. “Kole…” He inhaled deeply, then met his gaze again. “I just want you to know… I want this. I know what I’ve said before, about not wanting to lose control, about having to be in charge, but I don’t…like it as much like that.”

“I know, Beck. And if you’ll let me, trust me, I’ll make it good for you.”

Beck rose until they were almost chest to chest and cupped Kole’s jaw. “I know you will. That doesn’t worry me one bit.”

“But what does worry you?”

He exhaled, mapping Kole’s face with his gaze. “That I won’t be enough for you. That I’ll freak out.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “And now I’ve ruined the mood.”

His hands were shoved off Kole’s face, and his eyes snapped open. But before he could apologise, Kole’s hands copied Beck’s gesture, sliding across the skin of his jaw. “You haven’t ruined anything. If anything, it has made me want you even more.” Beck frowned, and Kole hesitated before continuing. “I love having control, Beck. I love being able to give you everything you need, especially when you can’t articulate that you need it. I love being the one responsible for making you cry out because I’ve found something you didn’t realise you loved. I want to be that for you. Ineedto be that for you.”

Tears filled Beck’s eyes, and he blinked rapidly to stop their fall, to no avail. “Thank you,” he croaked.

Kole kissed him, pushing him backwards onto the bed again. And then his mouth left his and detoured down his body once more. Encasing his cock in wet heat again, Kole went to town, taking Beck right to the edge. But then he pressed against Beck’s pucker, his wet finger massaging the area before pushing more forcibly. Beck bore down, hissing when it slid inside his channel for the first time in far too many years. The sensation, while notforeign, sent his brain spinning. Or was it the pleasure racing through him? He hoped for the latter.

“Talk to me, Beck,” Kole said, having paused in his ministrations.

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