Page 7 of Beck

Kole glanced up at Beck through watery eyes and launched himself forward. Beck caught him with a grunt but tightened his hold around him.

“I’m so sorry I scared you. I’m so sorry. So sorry,” Beck repeated, brushing his hand against his hair, soothing him.

Kole, being the coward that he was, hid his face in Beck’s neck, tears streaming down his face. His legs wouldn’t be able to hold him until the panic faded, so he didn’t try. When would it be over? When would he get his life back? A one-night stand, someone he never thought he’d ever see again, had attacked him, unprovoked, while he was telling his ghost stories on one ofhis tours. Someone he hadn’t thought about once they’d parted ways. Someone who would never be forgotten again.

How could one small thing have such a profound effect on the way he lived his life?

“I’ve got you. I’m so sorry,” Beck continued to say.

Kole heard him whisper something else and other voices, but he couldn’t get the energy to rise and run away from whoever it was. Beck had said he’d got him, and for once, Kole was going to hold someone to those words. He didn’t plan on moving for a little while, despite how cold he was getting.

“It’s okay. Take your time, Kole. I’ve got you.”

If only he could lean on someone for more than a few moments. He needed the respite, but he didn’t have a choice. He would not bother Ethan with his burden. He didn’t know the artists well enough to ask for help. Christi was busy with Di and their new business venture. Most of his family had told him to get over it by going to therapy. He had no one.

But for these few minutes, he had Beck, and he’d remember the feel of his arms around him, his strength, whenever he needed a reminder that one day, just maybe, he might be able to have that for himself.

****

Chapter 3

Beck

Holding a trembling Kole in his arms, Beck called himself every curse word he knew. When someone had been through what Kole had been through, another person didn’t just grab them to get their attention.For fuck’s sake, Beck.

He cradled Kole, muttering his apologies as occasionally people moved around them. The crew had been and gone, Joey physically dragging Ethan away when he’d refused to leave his best friend. Beck wasn’t sure if Kole would want Ethan to have seen him that way, but it was too late. Undoubtedly, Ethan would have words for Kole the next day.

But for the moment, Kole was Beck’s concern. His body trembled like an autumn leaf hanging by its last stalk, though whether it was from panic or the cold, he wasn’t sure.

“Kole, let’s get inside. It’s getting colder. I need to get you warm.”

Kole didn’t respond vocally, but he tightened his grip on Beck’s coat. Beck’s shins were freezing from kneeling on the cold ground, and he manoeuvred to get his feet beneath him while still holding onto Kole with the same strength he had before. He didn’t want him to think he was letting him go.

“That’s it. I’ve got you,” he said as Kole responded to the move and rose with him. He guided them towards the hotel, and the doorman opened the door for them with a sympatheticexpression. Kole kept his face buried but loosened his hold once they were inside.

Wasting no time, he aimed for the lifts, reaching to call for it before putting the hand back on Kole’s head. Their reflection showed how small Kole seemed to want to be, and the pain ravaging his own face. Barely keeping his memories under control, he focused on Kole. On how he felt in his arms. On holding him tight enough to make Kole feel safe. On apologising for scaring him.

When the lift finally arrived, he bundled them both into the small space and counted the seconds until it deposited them out. He guided Kole down the hallway to his room.

“Kole, do you have your key?” he asked gently.

Kole stiffened but then nodded. His grip loosened on Beck’s T-shirt, his hand smoothing down his front until it left his body to reach into his pocket. Pulling out a keycard, he trembled as he held it out. Beck took it and opened the door, hesitating on the threshold when Kole seemed reluctant to let him go.

“Can you…” Kole sniffed and pulled away, not finishing his sentence. “Thank you. I…”

“You don’t need to say thanks. Not for this.” It was also one of the last things anyone needed to apologise for. “Do you need anything?”

Kole shook his head, but he visibly shook as he wrapped his arms around his waist. Beck wanted to enfold him in his arms again, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Maybe they were past that, but he wouldn’t do anything without Kole’s express permission.

“I’m only next door, and you have my number if you need anything at all. Okay?”

Kole nodded again, and though Beck wasn’t sure leaving Kole alone was the best option, he stepped back. Before he left, hesaid, “I’m going to come back in a bit with some food. Make sure you answer your door. I would hate to break it down.”

It brought a slight curve to Kole’s lips, which eased Beck’s conscience a little. “Okay.”

It wasn’t the confident acquiescence the man would usually give, but it was something.

“See you in a bit,” Beck confirmed.

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