Page 114 of Best I Never Had

“Because,” I whisper, bringing my forehead to hers, “it’s the only part of you that I got to hold on to.”

Without saying anything else, her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me down to her for a kiss that makes me feel like I’ve come home. Full of warmth and vanilla. Full of everything that fills me with love, all of it for her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” I say. Even though she smiles at me, relief wrapped in every touch she traces on my now chilly skin, I can see that the month apart from her has caused scars to harden around her heart because I wasn’t there.

“What took you so long?” she finally asks, her voice scratchy through the slight tremble in her wrinkled chin.

“I went back home.”

When her brow furrows, her way of silently asking for more answers, I continue. “I went home for Thanksgiving, and Pat thought it would be good for me to take some time off.”

She smiles, warming my heart as she squeezes my arm as if encouraging me to keep going.

“And…” I add. “I wanted to call you, but I…I didn’t know if you would want?—”

“I did,” she interrupts. “I wanted you to call, to come to me. Anything.”

“I thought I needed to stay away. At least until I figured out how I could be your friend without expecting more from you. But…I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know if I could…”

“That’s not what I wanted,” she lightly protests. “For us to be just friends. As much as I would have taken it if that’s all you were going to offer me. It’s not what I want.” It’s my turn to choke back the tightness in my throat and swallow through my trembling chin. She wants me. This whole time, she’s wantedme.

“When I found this in my room,” I continue, cupping my hand under hers, the one that’s cradling the keychain, “I realized that I wasn’t ready to let you go. And I wasn’t willing to just be your friend or someone that you only called when you were lonely.”

My thumb grazes against her lower lip when her teeth press into it. The full pout that swelled as she thoughtfully gnawed through her pain softens now as she lets my thumb run along the smooth surface of her lip.

“I want to be everything to you,” I say, not even caring how my voice scratches, baring my heart to her, or how vulnerable I sound. “And I want to give you everything. My heart, the world, all the desserts and weird tasting foods.”

She laughs a watery laugh, her eyes curving as her tears start to fall again. I swipe my thumb against her cheek as she leans closer to me. “I love you too, Hayden.”

I let out a shaky sigh before kissing her. I kiss her as if I’ve been holding my breath this whole time and I’ve finally broken the surface.She loves me.

“Say it again,” I whisper.

“I love you.” Her hands roam all over me, pulling, gripping. “I love you, Hayden. I love you.”

I didn’t know I could physically feel gravity shift as the weight lifts off my entire body. Everything, from the burden of my dad’s death I carried to every ounce of fear I never needed to have when it came to me and Natalia. It all becomes lighter, nonexistent, as Natalia tells me she loves me.

“God, I love you,” I groan. My arms wrap around her waist as I feel her shiver, letting her absorb what little warmth I have left from sitting out in the cold for so long.

“Can we get you inside?” I ask, murmuring into her hair. “Get you somewhere warm.”

She smiles up at me, nodding as the first snowflake falls and lands on her eyelash.

46

Hayden

present

My hands areslick against Natalia’s bare skin, damp and warm from the last hour we’ve spent tangled in her sheets. I run my fingers along the strands of hair matted to her forehead before trailing them down the dip in her spine. Her hooded eyes roll back as her head lolls to one side, holding on to my neck as she scrapes her nails against my bare back. Her legs are draped over mine, straddling me, as she slumps into my lap, coming down from the high of her third orgasm since I all but tore that sexy green dress off of her, exposing all of the irresistible valleys and rises of her curves underneath the soft fabric. Or was it her fourth? I lost count after the first two, unable to focus on anything besides the way her sweet pussy gripped me each time. And sweet baby Jesus, is her pussy fucking sweet. I don’t want to do anything else for the rest of my life besides live buried inside her, feelinghow tight she is, with her limbs wrapped around me and the rest of her body flush against my own. I will never get over the feel of her body against mine, all soft and warm and naked.

“Do you need to stop?” I ask, breathing against her hot skin, pressing light kisses along her collarbone, her neck, her ear. She moans as my teeth graze against her jaw, which makes me pull the skin at her waist, guiding her over me.

She shakes her head, answering me while working through what little energy she has left with her loose legs and almost rubberlike arms. “I just need a moment before my legs turn into absolute Jell-O.”

I chuckle lightly before scooping my hand to the back of her head and fisting her hair to angle her face down toward me to kiss her. She complies, latching onto my lips and bringing her hands up to the side of my face, letting me run my tongue over the ridges of her mouth so that I can taste all of her.

“My lips are going to be chapped by tomorrow,” she says into my mouth between our kisses.

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