Page 18 of Best I Never Had

I suppress a sigh of relief before walking back into the kitchen. A bright light streams in through the back door that’s propped open for this week’sshipment. As I sign the list, ticking off items as they come off the delivery truck, I let the tension ease off my shoulders knowing I don’t have to sit through the rest of the meeting in the dining room. I’m thankful that Pat includes me in decisions that revolve around restaurant logistics but sometimes, I prefer being left on the sidelines. Especially if it comes with having to deal with Chef DuPont.

As I stock the walk-in fridge with our weekly produce, my mind wanders back to running into Natalia just before we sat down for our meeting. If I hadn’t been going over the wine list with Hailey at the bar, I wouldn’t have seen her. And if I hadn’t looked up as Natalia’s laugh echoed off the windows and she threw her head back with eyes twinkling in amusement, I wouldn’t have gone after her.

She’s no longer that reserved girl who hides behind her random books and color coordinated highlighters. Instead, she’s shifted into a brighter, more confident version of that girl, finally growing comfortable in her own skin. Her voice rings like an upbeat song instead of a whispering mumble when she talks. And her laugh. She hardly laughed when we were seventeen, not that either one of us had much reason to in biology class, but I somehow know she didn’t laugh like that in the five years we spent together going to the same schools. All bright and buoyant while using every expressive muscle in her face. Like the ones that form the little wrinkles down her nose and the corners of her eyes, or the ones that make her forehead crease as the laughter makes her weak.

Suddenly, I feel this urge to embrace Natalia’s return into my life. To bring back memories of us growing closer in the span of our senior year, reminding me what she meant to me back then while trying to rewrite everything that could have been. Of what I’ve been missing for the past eight years.

7

Natalia

senior year

“Sine, Cosine, Tangent,”I huff. “It all sounds the same!”

Carmen chuckles, her head propped up against the wall on the side of my bed as she’s sprawled across my comforter. She hasn’t been back home for more than one hour, visiting for a long weekend during a break in her residency program, and I’ve already bombarded her with my trigonometry homework.

“Don’t give up, Nat,” she encourages. “Just remember the mnemonic I taught you: ‘Oscar Has A Hold On Angie.’”

I cringe. “It sounds so aggressive. You don’t have one a little more passive? Something like ‘Never Eat Sour Watermelon?’” I huff into my textbook, scribbling along in my notebook as she turns back to the book she’s reading. “How do you even remember this stuff? It’s been, like, ten years since you’ve even stepped foot in a trigonometry class.”

She shrugs. “Maybesomething told me I should hold on to it so I can teach it to my little sister.”

I smirk, repeating the mnemonic in my head and bobbing along as I recite it in small whispers, when my laptop chimes. I look to see an alert for Facebook Messenger pop up. When I hover over the message, Hayden Marshall’s name appears, bold and indicating a new message.

My brow furrows, my head jerking back in confusion.

“What?”

I look up at Carmen, her fingers twisting through her hair as she watches me. “Oh, nothing,” I answer, feigning nonchalance. “Just a message from my lab partner.” My gaze returns back to my screen as I open the message where Hayden’s small picture accompanies it.

She nods, standing from her semi-lying position as she starts to walk out of my room. “I’m going to pick up some pizza for dinner. You want to come?”

I look up at her apologetically as I gesture toward the strewn-out papers and textbooks. “I should really catch up on this.”

“Okay,” she answers. She walks out the door and hollers Lucy’s name in the direction of her room.

I click open Hayden’s message.

Hayden:Hey, Lab Partner.

I wait, wondering if there’s more. When there isn’t, I type out a response.

Me:Hi, Hayden.

My attention veers back toward trigonometry, finding a spiral-bound notebook as I point my pencil toward the light blue lines running across it.

“Oscar… Has… A…”

My laptop pings again.

Hayden:So I was thinking, do you think the effectiveness of mouthwash is questionable if our cheek stains showed that much bacteria? Should we write a letter to the president of Listerine?

I smirk.

Me:I feel like that’s a personal problem. Although Mr. Khan may appreciate your gusto. Some extra credit points may be in order.

Hayden:Then it’s worth a shot.

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