Page 26 of Best I Never Had

“Andyour mom?”

“She’s kind of caught in the middle,” I explain. “She supported my decision but doesn’t want to take sides. But she helped me through culinary school, sending me money and paying most of my tuition.”

“That’s good,” she says softly, focusing on the positive. She swivels on the barstool, turning to face her whole body toward me once again, her way of giving me her undivided attention. “You know, your happiness isn’t a price you should pay to please anyone,” she says softly. “Even if it is your parents.”

I smirk. “I’m going to assume your parents love you?”

Her face drops as she hears me question my parents’ affection toward me. “You know your parents love you too, Hayden,” she says before averting her gaze toward the bar top and angling her body away from me. “But yes, they do love me. And my sisters.”

“Don’t need to rub it in.” I lightly nudge her shoulder, bumping it with my elbow as her lips twist in thought.

“They’ve always been supportive, so I can’t understand how any parent could expect anything from their child aside from their own happiness,” she explains.

I let out a frustrated, close-mouthed sigh, wishing my life were that simple.

“I’m just saying,” she adds. “This isn’t your problem, it’s theirs. It’s something that they need to work through and realize you’re happy with where you are in life.”

“Those are some wise words, Marquez.” She tilts her shoulder up in a bashful way as she tucks her chin downward. “I wish I could say something as reassuring about that shitty ex of yours.”

“I guess…calling him shitty isa good start.”

“Leaving already?”

I pull my pants past my hips, looking for the shirt that I had tossed haphazardly on the floor. When I peek over my shoulder at the rumpled bed, I watch as Caitlyn with aylazily stretches her arms above her, exposing the top half of her naked body while she suppresses a yawn.

“I have an early day,” I explain.

She turns to me, pulling the thin sheet up to her chest and tucking it into her armpits as she rests her head on the heel of her hand. “Well, I had fun tonight.”

I nod, reaching for my shirt that somehow found itself under her bed. I stand, pulling it over my head and reaching for the doorknob.

“I guess I’ll call you.” My offer sounds more like a question than any real future plans to see her.

She flicks her blond hair, the silky ringlets bouncing as they settle onto the pillow below her, while looking at me through hooded eyes. “Looking forward to it.”

I walk out of Caitlyn’s apartment and into the night. It’s already past midnight, as I didn’t make it to Caitlyn’s until after my drink with Natalia. When we parted ways, I responded to the waiting Cupid’s Bet alert, only to see that I had a new message from Caitlyn. After some back and forth and a scout’s salute to confirm that I wasn’t an axe murderer, I met Caitlyn at a bar on my side of the bridge. Which was perfect since I really did have an early day, regardless of whether she believed me or not.

When we went back to her place, I found myself in a rut of routine. Lifting her shirt while she undid my jeans, pulling back her covers while she lowered the lights to a dim glow. Even rolling a condom on felt…like achore. Something I needed to do so I didn’t grow restless or weary. To quench that part of me that sought intimacy. I mean, that’s the whole reason I still keep the app that screamsI’m singlesitting in my phone with its cheesy cupid icon, always begging for my attention as if it could fulfill this empty gaping hole that’s grown deeper and wider over time.

Once I enter my apartment where it’s quiet and empty, as I’m sure Dexter fell asleep hours ago, I search my fridge for a beer before settling onto my couch. My body sags against the cushions as I blow out a deep sigh.

Tonight felt like a breath of fresh air. Something to pull me out of my rutted routine of work and home that I’ve unremarkably settled into since I moved to the city. Everything about my life has been mundane, dull, and bland. Yet today felt different. And I know it has everything to do with Natalia and her welcomed text message to meet her for drinks.

Every time I close my eyes, I catch images of Natalia’s broken heart, reminding me of how I felt about her in high school. Our friendship back then grew like a plant, nourished with inside jokes and common interests instead of sunlight and water. I confided in her so many things that I wouldn’t have told a soul when my life felt so unsure.

My phone pings in my back pocket, and I pull it out to see a new message from Caitlyn. Her still naked body covered with her sheets, hiding parts of her for minimal discretion, fills my phone screen. I don’t send anything back, like a tasteless dick pic. Instead, I look for Natalia’s number.

Me: Hey, just wanted to make sure you got home safe.

I don’t expect a response this late, so I’m surprised when she texts me right back.

Natalia: I did.

Me: Good.

Natalia: Hey.

Me: What’s up?

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