Page 31 of Best I Never Had

“Come in.” I hear in a soft and muffled voice from the other side. When I walk in, I find Carmen sifting through her closet.

“Hey,” I call out.

“Hey, Nat,” she answers when she finally looks up. Her smile warmly greets me. “I’m going out to dinner with David. You want to join us?”

I shake my head. “You two enjoy your date. I’m tired anyway.”

She doesn’t go back to looking through her closet or simply nod at my answer. She looks at me as if waiting for me to tell her something.

“What?” I say.

I see her hesitate, opening her mouth before closing it. She turns back to her closet, briefly examining a dress she flicked off a hanger before looking back at me again.

“I know you’re a big girl, and I know you’re going to talk to me about it when you’re ready…”

“You finally saw the invitation?”

The inner corners of her brows turn up, and she nods. “Are you okay?”

“I guess I should’ve found a better hiding spot.” I sigh, slumping into the soft, cushy chair in the corner of her room while trying to avoid sitting on her clean bed in my work clothes. When Carmen’s attentive gaze urges for an answer, I smile weakly. “I will be,” I finally say.

“Are you sure?” she questions, stepping into her dress underneath her robe. “We can talk if you want.”

I shake my head and rest my chin on the back of the chair as I consider her offer. My lips twist as I attempt to smile through the constriction in my throat.

“I’m okay,” I answer softly.

“Nat, you don’t have to act like you’re fine,” she asserts. “We can talk about it. I can get some of that weird tasting sweet potato ice cream you like, and we can veg out on the couch.”

My smile widens, and a small giggle makes my face lift. “I’m fine, really.”

She rounds her bed and sits at the edge closest to me. “Nat…”

“I talked to Hayden,” I finally say when her persistence doesn’t seem to relent.

Her face twists into a disapproving hint of confusion, apparently thrown off that I didn’t turn to her when I normally would have. “Hayden?”

“Yeah, the guy that was at our party when Lucy was here?” I elaborate.

“The one you two went to high school with?”

I nod. “You were at work when I got the invitation, and I really didn’t have anyone to talk to so I had some drinks with him,” I say, explaining to her so she understands my desperation for seeking consolation elsewhere.

She tilts her head. “Like a date?”

“No,” I refute. “Just a friend listening to me about my crappy love life.”

She gives an understanding nod. “Well, I’m glad he was there to talk to. And I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“It’s okay,” I assure her, even though I had deeply wished she was home that night. Still, having that time with Hayden, huddled over chilled vodka and beer while skimming over the briefly mentioned hurt that Hayden somehow knew not to dive too deeply into made me realize how thankful I am for our reunion. If not for the introduction to French cuisine, then definitely for the much-needed company a mere text message away.

She rests a hand on my arm before standing to finish dressing. She pulls her dress up all the way and removes her robe. Her hands run down the polyester material, plum colored and cut below her knees, as it accentuates her curves, stuffing away the images of her in frumpy surgical scrubs. I pick at a loose thread coming off the chair as I think about Hayden and his own set of personal woes.

“Did you ever feel like Mom and Dad pressured us into our life choices?”

Carmen stands in front of her dresser. She leans forward while hooking in her earrings as she looks at me through the reflection. “What do you mean?”

“Like, did you ever feel like you wanted to be something else besides a doctor but couldn’t because Mom and Dad might not approve?”

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