Page 37 of Best I Never Had

She sighs. “Hayden, I can’t do that to you. You have your life to live. I don’t want to cut into your life like that.”

“You’re not cutting into my life.”

“It’s fine.” She takes a deep breath, the kind that’s meant to be cleansing, and looks at me with determination set in her eyes. “I just need time.”

I’m about to tell her that she doesn’t need to depend on time, that I can be around to help mend those wounds, when we’re interrupted by the front door clicking open.

“I come bearing gifts,” Carmen calls as she walks through the door, a plastic bag holding multiple Styrofoam containers dangling from her fingers.

Our eyes shift back to each other, a lingering silence settling between us with the scattered words I want to say still held on my tongue. Instead of letting those words spill, I lightly squeeze Natalia’s arm, to which she gives a sad smile.

“I’m going to get going,” I announce, standing from the couch. Natalia follows, walking me to the door as I wave a quick goodbye to Carmen and David.

When we reach the door, I turn to Natalia as she braces a hand along the doorframe.

“Thanks again for coming today,” she says with a smile that’s replaced all the apprehension she carried while we sat on the couch.

I nod. “Remember what I told you.”

Her brow furrows and her lips twist in confusion.

“To call me if you ever feel lonely,” I almost whisper. “And…maybe I’ll do the same.” Before she can question me and ask me about my own bouts of loneliness, I turn to leave.

14

Hayden

senior year

I hoverover Natalia as she holds the scalpel over the pinned down frog in the metal tray. I’m seconds away from gagging with the pungent scent of formalin filling my nostrils when Natalia slices into the grayish skin of the frog’s belly. As soon as her scalpel lifts, she smiles at me proudly.

“Did you name it?” I ask, swallowing the saliva pooled in the inside of my cheeks.

Her smile drops to a frown. “We were supposed to name it?”

I nod. “Or else it’s bad luck.” I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll say anything to put off our disgusting little lab assignment for as long as possible.

“How about Frogothy?” she says with a suppressed giggle.

“Frogothy?”

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “Like Timothy, but with Frog.”

I laugh. “OrFrogathan?”

She snorts loudly. The back of her hand comes up to cover her mouth as her eyes twinkle with laughter. A couple of heads turn our way and when I look up, I see Alex Spencer smiling in our direction with his eyes focused on Natalia. I nod in his direction, to which he nods back before cutting into his own frog.

“I think Spencer’s checking you out,” I whisper low to Natalia’s ear as she uses forceps to pull back the frog’s skin. I stop another gag that forces its way onto the back of my tongue.

She looks back to where Alex is sitting, and his smile widens when they meet eyes. She looks at me once again before ducking her head closer to examine the frog.

“Not interested, I see.”

Her face deadpans. “How about helping me with this surgery instead of digging into something that isn’t any of your business?”

“I think it’s considered more of an autopsy at this point.”

She rolls her eyes as she shoves the forceps into my hand.

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