Page 39 of Best I Never Had

I haven’t even thought of bringing a date, or my dilemma with Jacky.

“I guess I’ll bring a date,” I say with a defeated sigh.

“I don’t mean to find joy in your misery, but this is going to be quite entertaining,” Dexter says through an evil grin.

Hours later, after Ashton’s time with us ran out and he had to go back home to Carly, I settle into my room, ready to go to bed. As I pull the sheets back, my phone pings on my nightstand.

It’s Caitlyn. Her number pops up on my screen with a quickheybubble under the string of previous text messages. I can answer with a mimickingheywhich will most likely result in another night of meaningless sex and the empty feeling of loneliness that Natalia was so apt to describe. Or…but that’s the thing. There is no or. There’s only Caitlyn. Or Jessica or Whitney. Or whichever woman, age ranging from twenty-one to thirty-five within a fifteen-mile radius, happens to match with me at the same time I match with her.

I don’t answer Caitlyn. Or go on to Cupid’s Bet, scrolling through messages from various women I’ve matched with in the past. Instead, I call Natalia, already missing the sound of her voice.

“Hey, Marshall,” she answers. “Miss me already?”

“Something like that.” I chuckle. “I was actually thinking about what I said,” I say and stay silent.

“About?” she asks when I don’t elaborate.

“You know.” I clear my throat. “About calling me when you’re lonely.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” I answer, my voice low. “And I meant it when I said I would do the same. If you’re okay with it.”

“Of course, Hayden,” she says. Her voice sounds so welcoming. So comforting that I can’t even feel bad about taking advantage of this offer I laid on the table, knowing that it’s a thousand times better than texting Caitlyn back.

“Okay…” My voice trails off, sounding a bit unsure.

“Okay.”

We stay on the line, remaining quiet and not giving any indication of wanting to hang up.

“Are you…feeling lonely right now?” she finally asks.

“A little.”

“Okay then,” she answers, “tell me your deepest darkest secret.”

“Whoa, I thought we would warm up to that kind of stuff. Maybe start with how you take your coffee,” I joke.

“Or if I say cara-mel or car-mul?”

“It’s obviously car-mul.”

“In what universe?”

“Everyone’s!”

And we stay on the phone for two hours before I realize that I don’t feel so lonely anymore.

15

Natalia

senior year

“Marquez?”

I look up from my book with a green straw hanging from the corner of my mouth while slurping the last bits of my matcha crème Frappuccino when I hear my name in the crowded Starbucks.

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