Page 52 of Best I Never Had

Kisses like this don’t exist. There’s no way a kiss could leave someone this feather light, like they’re floating in air while feeling like complete mush at the same time. No, this kind of kiss only exists in fairy tales and at the end of cheesy rom-coms.Right?

Her body, tense and rigid from the shock of our kiss, falls pliant as our kiss deepens. I feel her grow heavy in my arms, making me want to take advantage of this moment while poking at the thought that I shouldn’t be enjoying this. That this kiss has a purpose.

When I pull away with my hand still wrapped around her back, her closed eyes pop open. They search mine with an urgency full of questions. Questions that both of us have. Like why I did what I just did. Why my hands are still clinging to her body, the same way her hands are clinging to mine. Or how I’ve spent the last eight years of my life without her in it. And how in thehellI’m supposed to go back to living a life where I didn’t spend my time kissing her.

We stand there, seconds passing as she peers up at me with a look of flustered shock, her chest rising and falling against mine. And suddenly, my heart starts to pound in my chest, thinking of a time when she looked at me the same way, eyes full of fear and confusion.

This was a bad idea.

“Hay—”

“Natalia?”

Whatever breathless words Natalia is about to whisper are cut off as we’re interrupted by the sound of her name.

“Matteo!” she gasps, confirming my assumptions. She finally pushes me away, her hands fumbling with her purse strap as it slides off her shoulder. “Hi!” she screeches awkwardly.

“It’s so good to see you,” he says, grinning at Natalia with his head held high.

Natalia stands to my side. Her arms cross her chest, then her hands come together, one fist twisting into the other hand before she drops them to her side. Her feet shift below her, and she creates a small inch of space between us before quickly peering up at me. All before turning back to smiling back at him. She’s so flustered and worried. And I wish I could take her away from this. I wish we could simply say “no, thank you” to whatever’s going to happen next and leave.

But instead, I stay by Natalia’s side and take in this guy, this shitty ex-boyfriend, to see who the fuck broke her heart to the point of hopelessness. His dress shirt, the color of day-old coffee and hanging a bit too loosely off his shoulders, looks awkward and tawdry. And a layer of stubble lines his chin, something that I assume is meant to make him look broody or suave but comes off as unkempt. I inwardly smirk, thinking how much better Natalia could do, knowing that this guy isn’t worth whatever heartache is still ailing her.

As I’m thinking all this, marking his flaws and pointing them out in my mind, he leans forward to embrace Natalia. I watch her close her eyes and nuzzle her nose into his shoulder as if everything around them disappeared. A quick flash of pain deepens the crease between her brows before she pulls away, causing something in me to twist as my hate for Matteo grows.

“It’s good to see you too,” she whispers. She looks down at her feet, and everything about her shrinks into a meek mess of sorrow.

“I’m Hayden.” I smile smugly, looking at Matteo while extending my hand toward him.

He shakes my hand, completely oblivious to the effect he’s having on Natalia, with a smile and a smirk I almost imagine.

“This is my fiancée, Jacinda.” He proudly wraps his arm around Jacinda, pulling her close to him. Jacinda looks at me and Natalia with a friendly smile, looking completely clueless to the awkwardness in the air.

Natalia slowly lifts her head, her sad smile barely lifting her lips as her hunched shoulders keep her from faking her way through this introduction. I reach for her and bring her closer to me, squeezing her small, limp hand to remind her that I’m right here. Matteo’s gaze lands on our connected hands.

“Is this your friend?” Matteo asks, eyeing the way I tuck Natalia closer to me.

“Boyfriend, actually,” I answer for Natalia when she stays quiet.

His eyes narrow, and he tilts his chin up, barely nodding to acknowledge my answer, almost as if gauging the truth in Natalia’s new relationship status.

“My parents said they sent you an invitation to the wedding,” he says, his voice tight and uncomfortable. “I hope you’ll be there, Natalia.”

“Sure,” Natalia says softly with that same sad smile I want to wipe off her face.

I tug on her hand again, pulling her attention and causing her to look up at me. When she does, a sudden switch turns on, making her realize that I’m still by her side, not letting go. Her free hand reaches to wrap around my forearm, and she finally smiles at me. A real smile. Not a fake one or a pained one, but one that slowly brightens up her face.

I lean down, brushing my lips close to her ear.

“I gotchu,” I whisper quietly. I quickly peck the top of her head, and I question myself whether it too is for show or if it’s to appease the twisting ache in her heart that I know is there.

I turn back to Matteo. “We actually have somewhere to be.” I release her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pressing her against my side.

“Oh, of course,” he says, a crease forming between his brows as he watches Natalia lean herself into me. “It was good running into you, Natalia. And it was nice meeting you, Hardin.”

“Hayden,” I correct him. My eyes narrow, catching the way he purposely mispronounced my name. And there’s no missing the smirk he makes this time when I catch an obvious eye roll and annoyed head shake.

“Right,” he answers flatly. He then turns to Jacinda, looking exasperated and angry. “Let’s go, baby.”

---