Page 61 of Best I Never Had

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“So what did you do after that?” Natalia asks, engrossed in Dexter’s story.

Dexter shrugs. “I asked her for her number,” he says nonchalantly as if there’s no other option besides asking the woman you publicly humiliate on a date.

“After you explained to me the dangers of going for a run in the park in broad daylight,” Molly, Dexter’s date, adds to Dexter’s recount of their meet-cute while rolling her eyes.

I shake my head, remembering the day when I joined Dexter and a group of his friends in the park for a friendly game of touch football. Dexter overthrew the ball only to hit Molly square on the head, knocking her off her feet.

“But he made it up to me,” Molly says softly while placing a hand on Dexter’s forearm. “After he picked me up off the ground, he bought me ice cream.”

“That’s hardly a fair trade,” I comment.

“Well,” Dexter says, smirking in Molly’s direction, “we did other stuff too.”

Molly slaps Dexter’s arm as his smile widens. Natalia looks at me with a face using every expressive muscle. From her scrunched-up nose and pressed lips suppressing a laugh, to the wrinkles in her forehead lifting her brows and widening her eyes, she looksso damn cute.

My hand moves to Natalia’s back, pressing lightly to the bare space between her shoulder blades. When she feels me touch her, she smiles wider. She smiles in a way that doesn’t feel forced or synthetic. It’s the exact same smile I remember too deeply from what seems like an entirely different life. And that pang I felt when I realized I could never risk whatever this is that we have, whatever small thread of friendship and nostalgia we’ve been clinging to, returns. It reminds me of how it felt like when I lost her the first time and how I can’t go through that again.

I’m about to lean toward her to pointedly ask what “other stuff” she thinks Dexter is referring to when her eyes lock on something behind me. Or rather, someone.

“Hayden?”

I look over my shoulder to find Jacky dressed in a navy-blue dress, matching the other members of the wedding party, with her hair piled on top of her head. I don’t mean to, but I can’t help but compare her to Natalia. Bright and beaming in her light green dress, looking like she stepped out of a fairy tale in contrast to Jacky’s dull bridesmaid attire. The looks of every other male dressed in a suit similar to mine lingering on Natalia long enough for them to realize that she didn’t come alone don’t go unnoticed either.

Jacky smiles expectantly at me, her hands clasped in front of her as she waits for me to greet her.

“Hi,” she says when I stay quiet. “It’s good to see you.”

I stand, the legs of the chair scraping against the wood as the back of my legs push it out from beneath me.

“Hi, Jacky,” I finally say.

My voice sounds strained. Too formal and awkward. I hear Dexter snicker from the table. When I turn to look back at Natalia, she smiles politely, her eyes moving from me to Jacky and then back to me.

“This is Natalia,” I say a little too loudly and abruptly.

“Hi,” Jacky says, her face barely turning enough to get a quick glimpse of Natalia. “So listen,” she continues, sidling herself up to me and grazing her hand along the inside of my arm. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since the Fourth of July.”

“Uh…um…” I stutter. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I’ve just been really busy.”

“Well,” she continues, oblivious to my hesitance, “when you get back to the city, give me a call. We can catch up.”

She stares up at me, playing this one-sided game of seduction as if unaware that we’re in front of an audience and that I didn’t come alone.

“We were just about to have a dance,” I announce, reaching for Natalia’s hand and pulling her to stand next to me as her heels lightly clack against the wood floor. Natalia’s brow furrows, showing her confusion from the sudden shift in our conversation.

“Oh,” Jacky says, taking a small step back. Her eyes narrow, her gaze moving to Natalia in the small space between us that seems to be growing smaller and smaller by the second.

“It was nice seeing you,” I say quickly. I practically drag Natalia to the dance floor, with her hurried steps following behind me. Once we stop on the glossy wood floor full of wedding guests moving to the music, I pull Natalia closer to me.

“What the hell was that?” she finally asks, her left hand resting on my bicep.

“What?”

Her face deadpans.

I sigh. “Someone I hooked up with over the summer.”

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