Page 89 of Best I Never Had

“Aren’t we a little late for biology class?” I joke as she turns the ignition off.

She smiles as she opens the door, reaching for her keys before exiting. I follow suit before I look at the large span of space ahead of us. The football field, re-turfed since we left, holds a newly designed scoreboard with a modern looking falcon painted next to the digital zeros on display. It sits empty, most likely in between classes, so we sort of dawdle toward the end of the wired fence where there’s an opening leading to the bleachers.

“Isn’t this trespassing?” I ask.

“I think they make some sort of exception for alumni,” she answers. “I mean, come on. We should get some sort of consolation for surviving four years here.”

I smirk as I climb the steps up the bleachers, walking all the way to the top, where we get an even wider view of the field. Natalia follows, her hands outstretched as she teeters side to side to maintain her balance. I reach out a hand for her as she takes the final step to the top, then drop it when she lands with a slight thud next to me.

“Wow,” she gasps. We both sit, looking out toward the field. The wind blows between us, causing us to fold our arms inward.

“Does it feel smaller to you?”

She turns to look at me, giggling. “Maybe you just got bigger.” She pokes at my side which makes me poke her back before we dissolve into giggles.

When our laughter dies, she leans her head against my shoulder, wrapping her hand along my forearm. She inhales deeply, breathing in the fresh air that we both forgot about when we moved to the city.

“Did you ever think you’d be back here?” she asks softly as her eyes gently close.

I shake my head. “Never in a million years.”

She opens her eyes and turns to look at me. “I’m sorry you aren’t here under better circumstances, Hayden.”

I give a tight-lipped smile instead of shaking my head. I can agree with her. Maybe even tell her that I wish my circumstances were different and that I weren’t here with her. But I can’t imagine a better place than being right here, right now, with her.

“I’m glad I’m here with you,” I whisper, the honesty seeping through me.

She smiles, her face lighting up as she looks at me. My hand lurches just then before fisting at my side. I stop it from moving even an inch. I stop it from cradling her face, brushing away her hair, and tucking it behind her ear.

“Nat,” I start to whisper. I don’t know what I want to tell her, but I need to say something. Anything to get this well of confusion to shift into something sure. But then we’re interrupted by the muffled tone of a new alert on my phone in my pocket. An obnoxious twang that rings so quietly but sounds loud in the small space between us. When we both hear it, she pulls away, and her hand drops to her side before she faces the open field again.

I grimace, taking a deep breath and cursing whoever it is that interrupted us. I hate that she pulled away so quickly. Both she and I know what the telltale sounds that came from my phone mean, but it doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t care who’s on the other side of that message. What woman is waiting for me to respond to the Cupid’s Bet message that caused us to separate. I just want to be right here with Natalia.

I clear my throat. “When are you flying back?”

“I’m staying the rest of the week,” she answers. “I got a flight out Friday night.”

I nod.

“I thought I would stay for the service,” she adds hesitantly. “If you want me there.”

I look at her, her eyes cautiously searching mine as she gauges my reaction.

“Of course I want you there,” I finally say.

35

Hayden

present

“I metGreg when I was fourteen. I was just about to enter high school, and my big sister brought home this big, burly quarterback that looked at her like she was the stars and treated our family like his own. And I knew then that he wasn’t just my sister’s boyfriend, but my brother as well.” Uncle Pat’s voice rings through the funeral home, his body raised behind a low podium next to a blown-up picture of my dad. “When I went to college, he and Marsha dropped me off at my dorms. He never treated me as an extension of Marsha but rather myself as an individual. He told me, ‘Patrick, I don’t care what happens with me and Marsha, I’ll always be here for you.’ He will always be my brother. Not a brother-in-law or an extension of my sister, but my brother.”

Natalia sits next to me in the row of folded chairs, her hip brushing against mine as her hand covers my clenched fists. She looks ahead, a soft, polite smile spread on her lips as Pat continues his memories of my dad and him. Ones that didn’t include my mom but were distinct to two of the most important men in her life before I came along.

After my mom takes the podium following Pat, thanking everyone for coming through a fresh wave of tears, we all stand and make our way back to my house for the reception. Natalia drives, her dad’s minivan coming to a stop in front of my house as I sit in the passenger seat. Cars line the streets, people funneling toward the front door to my parents’ house, and we both watch, sitting in silence as I take a moment to prepare myself.

“Ready?” Natalia’s soft voice calls from the driver’s seat.

---