Page 105 of No Place Like You

“Dex,” he says. “Go home. Take a shower. Take a long nap somewhere besides these lousy plastic chairs. I’ll be here.”

I sigh. A shower sounds so good right about now.

He sees me hesitate. “Go,” he urges again.

“I’ll make it quick.” I stand, pulling a long stretch from the uncomfortable seats, and press a quick kiss to my sister’s temple before walking out of the room. My steps are sluggish, and I’m unsure of what to do with myself without watching my sister as the machines help her breathe and stay alive.

I should at least take the time to call Lucy. I felt horrible after telling her I wouldn’t be able to make it out to see her. I should’ve told her why I had to cancel my trip, but everything was happening so fast. And saying the words out loud, telling her that my sister almost went into septic shock and is fighting her biggest fight yet…I couldn’t do it.

I feel so damn helpless. I can’t do anything here. I’m just watching my sister, hoping she makes it out of this alive. Hoping that I’ll see her one day, happy and lively, walking around her gallery all busy and energetic. I wish I could just talk to her one last time, let her know that I’m so sorry things had to be this way. That I wish it would have been me instead of her. How am I supposed to go on without her? I’m going to be completely alone, and I’m so fucking scared.

God, I wish Lucy were here. Even just to silently hold my hand or even wait for me back at my apartment. Just to know she’s there, waiting for me to come home.

“Dexter.” It’s like I summoned her. Wanting to hold her, hear her voice, touch her. She’s here.

“Lucy.”

She runs to me from the other end of the hallway, not caring that there are other people around us turning their heads as they watch her crash into me. Her body meets mine with so much force I feel like the impact causes everything to dissolve. My sister laid up in the hospital bed, Lucy being too far away from me, me missing her every single hour of every single day.

“What are you doing here? How did you know?”

“Carmen called,” she explains. Her hands run over my face, and she holds on to me with so much tenderness, I want to forget everything. I only want to think about Lucy and that she’s here. “She told me she’s been seeing you coming and going from the hospital, so she assumed Janet must be here.”

“And you flew out here?”

“Of course,” she answers.

“Lucy…” I say with a shaky voice. And I start to break down. I grasp her and bury my face into her shoulder, crying and sobbing. My entire body shakes, but she doesn’t let me go. Instead, she holds me closer, running a hand up and down my back.

“I’m here,” she says softly, clutching my head closer to her. “I’m here.”

“I know,” I sob.She’s really here.

“It’s okay, honey,” she whispers as she shushes me. And while it’s supposed to calm me, it has the opposite effect.

“God, I missed you so much,” I cry. “I wanted to come to you but…”

She shushes me again. “I know. It’s okay.” And she just holds me. It’s everything I ever needed in my entire life.

Fifteen minutes later, I still haven’t gone home. Instead, Lucy and I’ve settled into a corner of the hospital where an empty visitor lounge sits. She’s sitting in the seat next to mine, her knees drawn up to her chin, and I’m just staring at her. Marveling at her existence. Because she’s here. She came here. For me.

“So what did the doctor say?”

“They’re going to keep her on the ventilator until she can start breathing on her own,” I explain. “They have her sedated right now, just something to help her feel less anxious and more comfortable, and she’s starting to respond to the meds. Finally.”

“So she’s sort of out of it?”

I nod. “In and out.”

“Dexter, why didn’t you tell me?”

I sigh heavily. “I guess I was scared to say it out loud, and I didn’t know if I would be able to keep it together while I told you,” I explain. She inches closer, resting her hand on my thigh. “And I didn’t want you to worry.”

“When you stopped answering me…I thought maybe things were over between us.”

I look up in shock. She couldn’t have possibly thought that.

“I thought maybe you met someone else, or you didn’t want to bother wasting your time dealing with us since things were so complicated,” she continues. Her eyes start to water, and her voice trembles. “I didn’t know all of this was happening.”

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