Page 106 of No Place Like You

“Lucy,” I urge, just as a single tear slips from the corner of her eye. “No, no. I could never.”

She nods. “I know that now. I just got really scared for a moment. But Dexter…I’m so sorry. I should’ve known it was Janet. I should’ve known you were going through all of this.”

“Lucy, I’m so sorry,” I say softly. I reach up to pull her face toward me and kiss her. Tears start streaming down her cheeks, and itmakes our kiss wet and sad. “I didn’t think it would—I didn’t think. I should have called and let you know what was going on.”

“No, it’s okay. Really. It was just my stupid brain playing games on me, and I should’ve known better. I guess I was just…scared.”

We sit there, both realizing how much we need this. How badly we need to stay open with each other. Our relationship has its own hurdles with the distance between us, and neither one of us communicating along the way didn’t help. We don’t have the luxury of living in the same city, where we don’t have to wonder what’s going on when we don’t talk to each other for a day or two. We don’t have the option to pop over to the other’s apartment on a whim or make last minute plans to have dinner or watch a movie.

And then I realize how she’ll probably go back home in a few days, or maybe in a few hours. I don’t know how much time I have with her, and my heart starts to ache all over again. I don’t want to talk about what should be and what can be between us right now. I don’t even know if I’m ready to discuss her travel plans, like when she’s heading back to the airport or what time her flight is. I’m definitely not ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

“So you left your things at Carmen’s?” I ask, trying to figure out how to get her settled back into my apartment during the short time she’s here.

“Yeah,” she answers. “I brought what I could for now, and I’ll probably go back to Seattle sometime soon to get the rest of my things?—”

“What are you talking about?”

She takes a deep sigh, gnawing on her lip. “I’m going to stay with her for a while. At least until things get more stable with Janet. And then we can figure things out after that once?—”

“You’re staying?”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“I’m moving here.”

“Like,moving,moving?”

She nods.

“Lucy, you can’t,” I plead. “You have that job offer coming to you. You can’t uproot your life like that for me.”

Her face twists into a frustrated scowl. “Why not? I was going to do it for a job. Why can’t I do it for you? You matter more to me than any job. I can talk to Elevate. Maybe I can do something remote or part-time while traveling out to LA or something.”

“Lucy, they won’t?—”

“Then I’ll find another job!” She jolts from her seat and starts pacing the small space in front of me. “I don’t know, Dexter! I’m trying to figure this out. I’m grasping at straws because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t live on the other side of the country and pretend like the distance isn’t killing me. I’ve tried to be rational and responsible, but I’m so tired of it. It hurts too damn much. My place is with you, nowhere else. No job is going to change that.”

I stand, pulling her to me, and I feel her sink against my chest. She’s really willing to give up her life and be here with me. Without asking for any conditions, no tit for tat kind of deal like she’ll only move in with me if I keep the thermostat at seventy-three degrees. She’s willing to risk everything and uproot her entire life to be here with me, despite the inconvenience of it.

“It’s killing me too,” I say softly as she pulls away to look at me. “It hasn’t been easy since I got back from Hawaii, and I think I’d rather punch myself in the nuts right now than tell you to change your mind.”

She huffs a sad laugh, and I see a small smile twitch at the corners of her mouth. “No, don’t do that,” she says with a shaky voice.

My hands move to her neck and the sides of her cheek and her hair. My fingers graze over her like I’m sifting through everything to make sure this is really happening. I’m double, triple checking because it feels like magic. Something that’ll disappear into a fancy top hat or be swiped away fromunder a white cloth. But it’s not. It’s not some evil trick played on my already fragile heart. It’s real. All of it.

“Are you sure about this?”

She nods. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, okay,” I finally say. “We’ll figure things out. If I need to follow you to LA, I’ll do that.”

“You will?”

“Yeah. Once things stabilize with Janet and…” I pause, unsure how to finish that sentence. “You can stay with me in the meantime.”

Her face twists a little. “You don’t have to,” she says. “Carmen already told me I could stay with her.”

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