Page 89 of No Place Like You

We reach the end of the aisle, and it’s time for us to separate. There’s a half of a second where we don’t and we just stand there, but then we’re jolted back to the wedding, the rehearsal, and the glaring heat in the ceremony area when the wedding planner scampers toward us.

“That was great, guys! Tomorrow, you do the exact same thing but with about forty people watching.”

Nat and Hayden grin at each other. “So we’re free to go?” Hayden asks with his eyes on my sister.

“Yup, you guys are free to go. Make sure you’re on time tomorrow and get lots of sleep. Nothing looks more drab than a tired and sloppy wedding party.”

Hayden clasps his hands together. “All right, guys,” he announces to us. “First round’s on me!”

“Hey.” Carmen slinks into the seat next to me, linking her arm through mine.

“Hey.” My voice lacks the usual chirp and energy. I could tell myself it’s the day spent in the humid heat, walking up and down the journey to the altar, that leeched the energy out of me. Or even the hour spent greeting a few family members before my sisters, Hayden, David, Dexter, and I headed to the nearest bar equipped with an open karaoke nightand a gorgeous oceanside terrace. I could even blame it on the inquisitive questions our cousin, Jacqueline, kept asking about who the handsome best man is and if he’s single. (I should tellherhe has webbed toes.) But I know deep down, my state of fatigue isn’t because of any of those things. It’s Dexter. Dexter, who hasn’t left my side the entire day. Dexter, who manages to somehow keep me calm with his presence yet nervous with the reminder that our minutes are measured.

“How you holding up?” Carmen asks, watching me blankly stare at the round water rings on the raised table. There’s a collection of empty shot glasses, beer bottles, and skinny cocktail straws strewn in front of us, all of it surrounded by the bustling noise one can only find in a dingy dive bar.

My brows scrunch. “I’m good. Why?”

“Just making sure.” She turns away and looks at Dexter from across the room. He’s leaned up against the bar, waiting on his drink order while looking at his phone with a deep scowl. “How’s Janet?”

I sort of shrug. Not in a way that I don’t know about Janet’s wellbeing, but more so that I don’t know how I feel talking about Dexter’s sister. “She seemed okay before we left,” I answer, realizing there are so many implicit words in that simple sentence. Confirming that I was with Dexter before we flew out to Hawaii and that there was a “we” at some point. Maybe still is.

Carmen responds with this silent look as if she’s equally worried and sympathetic. I almost want to tell her everything, right then and there. That this “we” Dexter and I forged without either one of us realizing it is tearing me apart on the inside. That I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go back home after everything and go on like my heart isn’t fragile and a little broken.

Hayden and Nat reach our table, the two of them dizzy from a highly flirtatious game of pool, which Hayden let Nat graciously win. And itdoesn’t seem like Nat even noticed how he was pulling his shots with her heart eyes glazed over with love and vodka.

“Next game, me and you,” Nat says, sloppily pointing an index finger at me. I almost want to ask her how many fingers she’s holding up.

“Actually, I think as one of your maid of honors, it’s my responsibility to get you back to our room.”

She huffs. “It’s not even nine!”

“Yet with your tolerance of a teething toddler, you are plastered.”

“Fine,” she forfeits. “I’ll just drink water for the rest of the night.” She plops onto the bar stool, Hayden’s hand hovering somewhere between her butt and her arm to catch her fall. “Oh! Unless we can find some butter mochi.”

I cringe, and Hayden shakes his head in my direction with a silentdon’t asklook, right when Dexter sinks into the seat next to me with a fresh bottle of beer.

“What’d I miss?”

I lean toward him. “Hayden let Nat win a game of pool, which she thinks she won fair and square, so she’s considering signing up for the next local pool tournament,Queen’s Gambitstyle, and now she’s on a hunt to find some butter.”

“Butter?”

I shrug. “I don’t question the bride. I just follow along and hold up her dress while she pees.” I take a quick sip of my margarita. “What about you?”

“Oh, I think Hayden can piss on his own just fine without me holding his junk.”

“I meant while you were getting your drink. Andpleasedon’t ever talk to me about my future brother-in-law’s genitalia.”

The pleased, little smirk he had on his face drops, and he pulls at the back of his neck. “I was just checking on Janet.”

My face changes too, my lips twisting to one side and my eyes downturning into concern. “How is she?”

“Tired,” he answers. “She had a chemo session yesterday, so she’s just resting.”

“But other than that?”

“Uh, yeah,” he answers, his voice teetering between hesitant and a little annoyed. “She seems okay.”

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