Freya's POV
“Did you bring it?” I shout at Liz through the bathroom door between dry-heaves.
“Yes... Are you sure you want to do this now?” Liz's normally confident voice sounds very unsure. I yank open the door and glare at my best friend.
“Of course I'm fucking sure Liz. Knowing is not going to make me feel any worse” I snatch the pregnancy test from her and retreat back inside.
Once I've pissed on the stupid stick, I'm suddenly not so sure I want to know. Opening the door again I yank an awkward looking Liz inside.
“You look!” I demand
“No, Freya! You need to do this...”
Fuck. If it's positive, if I'm pregnant that's a whole other level I hadn't even considered. Aaron and I have barely gotten past the dating stage, we've certainly never talked about babies. Fuck. I've never thought about being a mum – mine did such a shitty job. Both of them.
I'd turned the test face down as soon as I'd done it, not wanting to look. I steel myself, holding Liz's hand with one sweaty palm, and flipping the test over with the other, I peer at the result.
Two lines. Pregnant.
Liz envelopes me in a massive hug. Oddly I don't feel devastated, instead a warm cosy feeling runs through me. I pat my belly uncertainly.
“Congratulations Mama” Liz croons.
A chilling thought strikes me and it's out my mouth before I can stop it
“Liz, what if … what if it's not Aaron's?” I start to gabble “It... it could be Marc's. Aaron and I got it on virtually as soon as I'd broken Marc's stupid spell. It could be either.”
Liz looks at me shocked. It obviously hadn't crossed her mind. I feel the hand holding the test start to shake.
“Liz! I saw the way Aaron looked at Marc- sheer hatred. I don't know what he'll do if it's Marc's baby” My panicked brain plays over Marc's words about how we were joined forever. Did he somehow know?! Does that mean it's his? Was it just Marc playing his usual mind games?
“It's your baby Freya. Aaron loves you. He'll love your baby whether it's his or not” Liz doesn't sound convinced herself.
A small noise in the bedroom makes me look up alarmed. I shoot out of the en-suite, holding the test, and come face to face with a stormy looking Aaron. He glances between my face and the little stick in my hand.
“I left Tavey to lead the training. I thought I should see you were okay” his voice sounds flat “Is it definite then? You're pregnant?” It sounds like an accusation.
“Yes” I just shrug and try to hug him. He pushes me away and holds me at arm's length peering into my face.
“And it could be Marc's? That's what he meant when he ran into you?”
My eyes well up “I don't know what the fuck Marc meant Aaron!” I'm trying to hold my shit together but even I can hear my voice wobbling “I don't know whose baby it is. Except... except I know it's mine.” I put a hand over my belly possessively, wondering how I hadn't noticed the slight swelling before.
I don't know what I was hoping for. Shouting and yelling would have been better than the desolate shrug Aaron gives before he turns around and walks out the room.
∞∞∞
It takes me until lunchtime to stop vomiting. How the hell do women do this for weeks on end and look 'glowing'? I'm washed out and aching all over. My head's more of a mess.
Liz is right though – it's my baby. I only hope Aaron comes around to the idea. I suppose we can get a test once he or she is born, but I'm terrified it might be Marc's. I don't even know how I'm going to get to that point if Aaron can't support me.
I have to find him, we really need to talk. Liz reminded me of the Silver pack alpha whose plan is to pass the pack to his daughter, because his son isn't his genetically. It sounded ominous until she explained Alpha Silver loved his step-son with all his heart, but knew he didn't have alpha blood and wouldn't make a good leader.
The two, from Liz's understanding, act just like father and son and agree on the pack's line of succession. In fact it's rumoured the Silver boy is relieved – he'll make a good kappa, but he's not interested in being alpha.
Liz's story gives me hope. I know Aaron thought highly of Alpha Silver for a while. I wonder if reminding him of the Silver pack will be enough to give us a chance if the baby isn't his. Taking a deep breath I resolve to go find Aaron and force him to listen. He owes me that at least. I didn't choose to get fucking pregnant.
I slip down the stairs, sensing Aaron in the library. As I get to the door-way I freeze, realising the subtle hint of vampire is lingering too. Without meaning to eves-drop I find myself straining to hear their conversation. Aaron sounds troubled.