Page 11 of Counting His heartbeats

Letitia's laughter echoes around the room, causing me to join her because I'm sure it's not the question she would expect in this setting.

"We're going to get along just fine but since we're going to be friends and all. See for yourself. Bunions, where?" she asks, slipping her feet out of her heels and allowing me to see her stocking-clad feet free of blemishes.

"I see you. Thanks. Now, let's get into why I'm here," I say, smiling.

Dr. Baxter holds her index finger up while putting her shoes back on before sanitizing her hands and grabbing the notepad and pen from the table beside her chair.

"All right. Go ahead."

Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders and release the first of many burdens I've been carrying since I was old enough to understand them.

"I am the baby Sheryl and Zack Young stole from Grant Medical Center in Columbus, Ohio, on November 3, 1994. My birth mother sent me back to the nursery to take a nap, never knowing it would be her last time seeing me as a newborn. The crazy thing about it is that no one, including me, knew I wasn't Sheryl and Zack's child until it was time for them to enroll me in school. What I knew was that my parents loved me, cared for me, spent time with me, and gave me everything a kid could ask for. The hardest thing for me to get over once their lie caught up with them, and even now, is the loss of Sheryl's presence in my life. No matter what anyone said about how much she isn't, she was my mother."

My chest rises and falls, causing me to stop talking to gather myself when the heavy emotions of my torrid past escape my lips.

"No matter how long it's been, a part of me still misses them because they shaped the first five years of my existence. Jail might have been appropriate for those who felt strongly about their offense, but I longed for things to return to normal. Being returned to my birth parents was the worst mistake the city of Columbus could have ever made. Jennifer might have been responsible for my birth, but she and Jared were two of Satan's imps and the worst alternative for Sheryl and Zack's parentage I could have ever experienced."

Hanging my head, I close my eyes to see a grainy image of a smiling Sheryl surface, causing my chest to tighten. Longingfor a woman who didn't give birth to and, in fact, kidnapped me should be wrong. Yet, Sheryl had been the mother my young mind would never allow Jennifer to replace. Even though the Spiveys wanted me to hate the Youngs and embrace them as my rightful parents, I felt like I would hurt the Youngs if I did.

"I can't imagine the burdens or feelings of abandonment you felt by being snatched out of the only home you knew. I can also see from your tone and body language that it's something you haven't been able to come to terms with," Dr. Baxter says.

"How? Wrong or not... Sheryl was my mother. Jennifer missed the opportunity to mend the fractures in my heart because of what happened, which made me long for Sheryl even more. No one takes the time to talk to the child affected by the crime. They only focus on returning the child to their rightful parents. For two years, I lived in the shadow of the newborn the Spiveys lost instead of appreciating the opportunity to create something new to erase the stain of the old."

My lip trembles, my shoulders sag from the heaviness filling them, and my eyes glisten with unshed tears, causing despondency to creep into my mood. The uncomfortable feeling coursing through my body activates my flight or fight mechanism, making me desperate to change the topic.

"I once broke up with a woman after I got more than her nectar while infiltrating her folds with my tongue. I'm not sure which of us was more embarrassed after I nearly choked on a shit-covered piece of toilet paper she'd unknowingly gotten stuck," I disclose, lowly chuckling.

Poor Dr. Baxter's eyes widened, and her hand hovered over the notepad. My eyes connected with her because I was sure she was trying to catch up with the switch I had just made. Yet humor was necessary when pain attempted to choke or trip me up.

"Uh, I-mm... that's something," Dr. Baxter stumbles over her words, causing a deep chuckle to escape my mouth.

"Now, if we're going to be homies, you're gonna have to know when to hold and fold them when dealing with me, Letitia. I'm a man with many layers similar to a clove of garlic... tricky to peel but an added bonus to a lacking recipe."

"Duly noted, Jawaan. That's our time for today."

"Bet. When do I need to come back? Or better yet, how often do I need to come?"

"While I would like for you to come see me weekly, you're in control of the frequency of these sessions. So, what are you comfortable with?"

"Say less, Letitia. I'll see you the same time and day next week."

An Undetermined Time Later

"Now how her pretty ass grinning in this nigga's face after holding my hand not many days ago? Women stay talking about men playing games and shit when their sneaky asses got more options than Santa's elves."

Despite the emotions still plaguing my body after my session with Letitia, I brought my ass to Shadow Stew Memorial. Making a pit stop in the cafeteria to grab some water and seeing Ms. Zurmani sitting at a table with one of the hospital employees sours my mood. My response is farfetched because I have no claim to this woman.

"Is this all for you, sweetie?" the older black woman at the cashier station asks, pulling my eyes from Zurmani and the dude wearing a white coat.

"Yes, ma'am," I respond, smiling.

I should go over there and bust up their little meeting.

Do it! Do it!

The devil on my shoulder shouts, jumping up and down, fueling me to do something that isn't in my character, especially since Zurmani isn't mine.

Yet! Go tell her why buddy ain't meant for her.

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