Page 14 of Counting His heartbeats

"Damn, I ain't ever seen a sexier sight than this one right here," a familiar deep masculine timbre comments, instantly causing my eyes to open to see Jawaan with his phone lifted in my direction.

Now, God, is this the sign confirming that you don't love me? I thought we had an understanding.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

The statement enters my mind before I can form anything else, leaving me momentarily speechless because God doesn't play fair.

Twenty Minutes Later

Jawaan and I have switched places, and my eyes seem stuck on the image before me. The minute I saw Jawaan taking off his shirt, my eyes and feet froze, making it easy for Jawaan to get me to keep him company. My 'yes' to his asking came faster than it took him to slip the shirt over his head. My hands have been twitching with the urge to run my fingers through Jawaan's dreads since watching his man bun shift from the shirt touching his head.

Lord, why am I feeling like this after all the hell I went through with my ex? I don't understand my attraction to this man, especially on the heels of so much pain from my loss.

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, not evil, to give you an expected end.

What does that mean, God?

In this moment, you need to understand that I will give you beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

"Stop staring and talk to me, Tigress. How was your day?" Jawaan asks, causing me to jump from unexpectedly hearing his voice.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight I was witnessing while watching a shirtless Jawaan with a muscular tattoo-covered upper torso cradling this tiny baby against his chest. Like me, Jawaan has his eyes closed as if he's savoring the moment. Unlike Jawaan, I'm mentally snapping pictures of thissight because I know it's one image I'll never be able to forget. My mouth is watering because of my thoughts about playing Tic Tac Toe or following the tattoos on Jawaan's chest with my tongue. When my pearl starts weeping, I clench my thighs to calm her down and prevent her from becoming a slip-and-slide.

Focus, Zurmani. There's a baby between you two, for goodness sake. Have some decorum.

"Nothing exciting to talk about, which is why I'm here. I wanted a better way to end the day. How was yours?"

"Mundane and routine. How long are you planning on being here?"

Hell, had you not started taking off your shirt, I would have left after the nurse took the baby from me.

"Not long. I need to get home to cook and get ready for work tomorrow," I answer, forcing a fake yawn when Jawaan opens his eyes, and a smirk plays on his lips.

Feeling my glasses slide, I push the frames higher before pulling my gaze away from Jawaan to look around the room. A few parents and volunteers are now occupying the space, making me smile.

"How about you let me treat you to a quick bite to eat so we can talk without disturbing Little Man's rest?" Jawaan suggests.

Returning my focus to Jawaan and the baby, my gaze shifts between them, and warmth unlike anything I've ever felt surges through my body. Jawaan looks like a proud parent, with merriment shining in his eyes and his arm protectively placed on the baby, whose body wiggles like an inchworm before the sound of little cries.

"Whaa..."

"What's wrong, man? Do you need me to move you to the other side or what? Tell me how I can make you more comfortable." Jawaan's voice is softer than when speaking with me, and his hand glides over the baby's back soothingly.

"Whaa. Whaa..."

The Little Man's cries intensified, causing me to stand and move closer to assist Jawaan with calming him down. Unconsciously, my hand went to the baby's back, and a zing of awareness surged through me when my hand collided with Jawaan.

"Oh, it must be time for him to eat," the nurse declares, appearing out of nowhere. "Would either of you like to feed him or do you have somewhere else to be?" the nurse asks, oblivious to Jawaan's words and my staggering heartbeat.

Words fail me when my gaze connects with Jawaan's eyes, and the temperature in the room becomes charged. I quickly remove my hand from the baby's back while disconnecting the eye contact between Jawaan and me. I'm not sure how this man had me cussing him out after interrupting my lunch one minute and then swooning the next. Jawaan's attentiveness to a baby who he didn't help procreate has my feelings all over the place.

Several DaysLater

"Can you tell your kangaroo mom that her heavenly scent is still lingering on your skin, Little Man?" I whisper while fighting the urge to nuzzle his little neck to absorb Zurmani's lingering fragrance.

If I hadn't just put him to sleep, I would have been all up in his submental space. According to the nurse, I had missed Zurmani by twenty minutes, which made me sad until Zurmani's perfume hit my nose while I was holding the baby.

"I'm gonna need your mother to give you a name because Little Man and baby seem so unfitting," I say, rubbing my hand gently up and down his back while he slumbers peacefully.

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