Page 32 of Counting His heartbeats

"I need you to meet me at Shadow Stew Memorial, Tigress," Jawaan says in a tone that instantly chills me.

"I'm on my way."

My heart is racing, and my teeth instantly sink into my bottom lip when a heavy feeling settles within my body.

Twenty-Five Minutes Later

Between my jittery nerves and the light traffic, my commute to the hospital took longer than usual. My feet feel like they have weights and chains, making them heavier than normal when I enter the hospital. Removing my phone from my purse, I dial Jawaan's number, holding my breath when the ringing sounds in my ear.

"Where are you at?" Jawaan asks when the call connects after the second ring.

"I'm-uh, I'm here," I confirm.

"Bet. I'm with Little Man. Come up." Jawaan disconnects the call without waiting for my response.

The elevator opens a second after I push the call button like it had been waiting for my arrival. Entering the shaft, I press the button for the labor and delivery floor, and the car jolts before ascending. Unsure of the reason for Jawaan summoning me here, I close my eyes and pray.

Father, in the name of Jesus, I'm not sure what I'm walking into, but I ask that you go before me. Work out whatever situation that I'm aware of. Touch Little Man's body and heal him of any ailment he's dealing with. I speak healing over him now by the blood of Jesus. God, I ask that you would also touch his mother. You know all things, and I give you praise, honor, and glory for what you're going to do. Amen.

Ding.

My eyes open when the elevator sounds, letting me know I have reached my destination and forcing me to exit the shaft. My gaze moves left to right, searching for what I can't even identify in my journey toward the NICU. My heart beats wildly, andmy mind won't settle on a single thought. I don't know what's happening or what to expect, but I will continue walking. Once I reach the door to my destination, my hand holds onto the knob without turning due to the sudden jitters invading my body.

Please, God, don't let Jawaan or anyone in this room bring me any bad news.

Sighing deeply, I square my shoulders and turn the knob to enter the room with my eyes bouncing around the space despite knowing my exact location.

Okay, none of the parents appear frazzled or distraught, so that's a good sign.

Continuing my stride, my steps pick up when I see Jawaan sitting in the lounger holding the baby. His head is down, and his right hand is slowly gliding over Little Man's back. The closer I get to Jawaan and the baby, the more the air shifts around them. A heavy feeling seems to be hovering above the lounger. When my feet are in front of Jawaan, he lifts his head, and his red, watery eyes nearly stop my heart. Without saying anything, he lifted his left hand and passed a piece of stationery to me. I instantly notice a raised seal, causing my brows to hike and wrinkles to spread across my forehead.

"What's this?" I ask, taking the paper from Jawaan's hand.

Wordlessly, Jawaan's eyes peer into me like he's silently communicating before he nods subtly toward the paper I'm now holding. Lifting the paper, my eyes scan the document, and my chest pinches when the words fill my mind.

To: Jawaan Young & Zurmani Coates,

I have been hearing about your dedication to the baby I have never seen myself having, and I want to thank you. It helps to know that I can departthis life knowing that he will be cared for. I have been praying since I delivered that God would give me an answer to my prayers. Believe it or not, you two were supposed to volunteer at this hospital and in this particular wing. I won't speak out of turn because God can speak for himself concerning His plans for His children.

Nevertheless, I have to be obedient to what He's instructing me to do. With that said, I have listed your names as parents on the birth certificate of the sweet baby you've been watching over. I'm on my way out, but I wanted to ensure that this baby will never end up in the foster care system. Since I don't have any family and the father denied his part in creating the baby from the moment of notification, you will have no one to oppose or fight with. All I ask is that you both give this child the love and family I'm not able to provide. While this might seem surreal, remember that God's plans for our lives have already been predestined.

P.S. The baby will need a name, so give him one that will be meaningful.

Sincerely,

The angel you didn't know God sent your way.

My mouth hangs open, tears fall continuously, and my nose runs while my eyes scan the letter's contents again. Clearly, I'm not reading what my brain is telling me I am. Light chest pain, a dizzying feeling, and numbness fill my body as I attempt to reconcile what this means.

"I-is th-this real?" I ask, stumbling over the words when my eyes connect with Jawaan.

"For what I've been reading every few minutes since arriving... yes," Jawaan confirms in a low voice.

"We-we've got to go see her, Jawaan. She's never met us. How can she give us her baby? Then, she mentions departing this life. What—I—we need to go see her." My thoughts spill out rapidly, causing Jawaan to stand slowly without disturbing the baby in his arms.

"Okay, but take a couple breaths, Tigress." Jawaan's voice is soothing and gentle as if he's speaking to the baby instead of me.

Doing as I'm told, I take several cleansing breaths while staring at Jawaan, whose light orbs provide the comfort I'm desperate for at this moment.

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