Page 35 of Counting His heartbeats

Sighing heavily, I tell Letitia about another instance in my shaky past that's currently causing turmoil.

"After Rema pressured me to make the girl I was dating have an abortion and also gave me the money necessary for it to happen. Charletta didn't want to have it, but Rema made me force her to do it. To punish me for allowing another woman to have my dick raw, Rema spiked my pink lemonade. Then she had me alternating between fucking her and one of the men on her roster with a dildo. Being the demon she was, Rema taped the encounter unbeknownst to me. Then she used it to blackmail me to keep me in line and fuck her whenever she wanted a taste of my dick."

Letitia's mouth is wide open, and her body appears frozen, making my stomach flip while increasing the lava-like heat that is coursing through my veins.

"I was too drunk to know what the fuck I was doing, but Rema's ass got a kick out of how into it I was. Only by divine intervention did I stumble upon Rema's hiding spot because she would probably still be familiar with the stroke game she taught and perfected with me."

"Th-there were tapes of your escapades?" Letitia utters.

"Not anymore, but yes. I didn't find any of Kyce or Kayshon, but Rema had that one of me and some of a man I saw on the day of Humphrey's funeral. The only comfort I had after watching the tape is that anyone with common sense would be able to tell that I was drunk."

Finding that sex tape is what sunk Rema's ship where sex with me was concerned. I no longer cared if she told anyone about my kidnapping and my reason for entering foster care. After getting rid of the incriminating and disgusting sex tape, I felt free.

"Let me ask you a question, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to," Letitia says, regaining her composure.

Sitting tall, my eyes match Letitia's intense gaze, and I nod, allowing her to ask whatever she wants.

"You've mentioned your rejection, abandonment, and the things Rema subjected you to. While living there, did you consider reporting her at any time?"

"No. My first mother had kidnapped me, and the woman who bore me turned her back on me, leaving me to reside with two people who should have never been allowed near me. I somehow convinced myself that Rema's attention was the love the first two women in my life couldn't provide for me."

Same Day, Unknown Time

"How did you ask me over here and got me feeling like I'm in a crowded library? What's on your mind that has you so quiet?"

Feeling Zurmani's hands running through my hair before massaging my scalp has me in a state of euphoria while making my dick twitch. The plan was to spend some time with her after an overwhelming and weighty counseling session. Yet, I have been unable to do anything but lie in Zurmani's lap and fight the urge to fall asleep. Zurmani has no clue how much peace I receive while in her presence. With her, I don't have to force myself to wear the shield of fake identity so my scars don't show. I can let my guard down enough to allow my emotions to simmer on the surface.

"I didn't know you would complain about getting one-on-one time with your man before our lives change."

"Oh shoot. I didn't go see Little Man today. How are we here boo-loving when we are now parents? Lord, we're parents,Jawaan." Zurmani's hands stopped moving, causing me to smirk.

"We're here because we need to agree on a name for Little Man because we'll need to put one on his birth certificate. On another note, be careful using the Savior's name in vain."

This woman is so gonna be my wife, and I'm gonna have her carrying two kids on her hip.

"Why are you grinning like a fool?"

"I'm gonna do more than make you a baby mama, girl. You're the white picket fence type of woman. We already got the dog, so we're good in that department."

Warmth spreads through my body when an image of a pregnant Zurmani, Little Man, and I pop into my mind.

Do it, God!

"Hm. Let's pin that topic for now. Do you have any ideas on names?"

"I agree with his bio-mom that it should be something of merit. What comes to mind for you?"

Crossing my sock-clad feet, I peer into Zurmani's eyes, watching intently as her expression changes several times.

"I think it should start with a J like yours. Something original but also full of meaning. I want him to know that his name symbolizes how we feel about him. If he were a girl, I would name her Blessing," Zurmani informs me, smiling.

"How about Jalil Matthew Young?" I ask when the name pops into my mind out of the blue.

"I like it. Let's see what it means." Lifting my head, Zurmani turns to grab her phone beside her before her fingers move quickly over the keyboard. "Ooh, yes. It's the perfect name for him. Jalil means greatness, and Matthew means gift of God. Why aren't we hyphenating his last name, though?" Wrinkles dance across her forehead and tightness forms around her eyes.

"For what? When he's gonna be a Young just like his mother. It's a waste of ink when Coates won't be your last name for too much longer."

"You keep mentioning marriage when I haven't gotten used to being in this relationship yet."

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