Page 38 of Counting His heartbeats

Reason number I don't know, why Jawaan is my man... he can sing. My goodness hearing Jawaan sing as if he's the person who recorded this track has me shamefully clenching my thighs. We've just turned onto the street where the church is located, which has me breathing a sigh of relief because my torment is nearly over. I have spent the entire ride in a state of torment that has me feeling like I need to lie prostrate on the altar while begging God for forgiveness. Arriving at Jawaan's house was uneventful, but I dang near swallowed my tongue when he stepped out the front door.

Jawaan was an attractive man from the face up but seeing him wearing a suit that appeared to be made especially for him was a sight to behold. I have been doing a great job of keeping myself from traveling down the road of sexual thoughts while dealing with Jawaan. However, today might have shattered my spotless record because my mind instantly went down the drain when my eyes raked over Jawaan's body. My man ain't wearing a seersucker suit, that's for sure. In fact, the wine color of Jawaan's suit has my mouth watering for something to quench my thirst.

"Pursuing His Glory Ministries...wow," Jawaan recites, chuckling after reading the church sign before pulling into the parking lot.

"Let me in on the joke."

"This is the church my sisters and brothers belong to. They have been trying to get me here for a minute now. Thankfully, they attend the early service, so it's unlikely that we'll see any of them."

"Oh wow. It seems like God set us up, huh? I also don't belong to the church, but I am considering it now that I need to plant my feet somewhere."

"You have no idea how true your words are." Putting the car in park, Jawaan exits before I have a chance to question his statement.

Unbuckling my seat belt, I grab my purse when Jawaan opens my door, waiting for me to exit the car.

"I think God isn't gonna be the only one smiling when we enter the church. You look beautiful, Tigress."

My cheeks heat from the compliment, and I look down at my outfit before a small smile upturns my lips. The black dress molds to my body without being inappropriate or classless. I paired it with black booties, a green necklace and earrings, and a matching green purse, not to mention the green church coat covering my body that I'd left open. Despite Jawaan and I not color coordinating, a bright smile displays on my lips when he connects our hands.

"Thank you," I express before we head toward the front entrance.

My steps falter when I see Zion's heavy gaze on me and Jawaan, causing me to swallow the lump entering the back of my throat.

"Do you know him?" Jawaan asks so only I can hear.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise this morning? Why are you looking like you did that time when Ma made you eat black-eyed peas? Come hug me, Nae Boogie," Zion says before I can respond to Jawaan, causing me to release the hand holding mine.

An uneasy smile slips into place when I walk into Zion's waiting arms, and my pulse thumps wildly when he tightens our embrace.

"Nae Boogie's got some explaining to do," Zion whispers in a light tone that settles the tension in my back.

"Later, but first, let me introduce you. Don't embarrass me," I whisper, breaking our connection before turning toward Zion. "This is my big brother, Zion. Zion, this is my man, Jawaan."

"Nice to meet you, man," Jawaan says, extending his hand toward Zion, who smiles before shaking Jawaan's hand.

"Likewise, I didn't know she was dating, so hopefully, we get a chance to converse," Zion says, looking at me.

"Count on it, man," Jawaan replies.

The sound of music playing prevents further conversation, and the three of us climb the steps to walk into the church.

"Hopefully, his attitude doesn't change when he finds out I made you a baby mama," Jawaan comments, smirking when Zion enters the sanctuary and heads toward the area he sat in before.

"It's gonna be an interesting story since he's aware of my situation and has seen me recently."

"Saints, Luke 13:10-17 is a reminder that God can restore you no matter how long you've been suffering. This morning, God says He can heal and restore you regardless of bondage, sickness, or struggle. God loves and cares about you no matter how far you've slipped away from Him. In Him there is no failure, there is no fear of rejection, there is no pain too great that he can't comfort you," Pastor Reese says, and movement to my right causes me to look at Jawaan, whose eyes are attentively watching the front.

"In Ecclesiastes 3:11, we are reminded that God is still in control even if we don't understand what he's doing. All you have to do is trust that God can and God will. So, this morning, I want to make a declaration to three groups of people. The first is to those who don't know God in the pardon of your sins. Thesecond is for those who don't have a church home and need to be connected to a place where you can grow, thrive, and be nurtured in your walk with God. The final group is for the people who need specific prayer. You might be saying, Pastor, I don't know which category I fall into, or Pastor, I fit into several categories. My response is that the altar is open for you, too. Come one, come all, the altar is open for you," Pastor Reese says.

My breath hitches when I see Zion stand and move out of his row into the center aisle before making his trek to the front. Movement to my right snatches my attention to see Jawaan stand before grabbing my hand.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I mumble, faltering over my words, and my chest pinches when I see Jawaan's misty eyes.

"I'm going for prayer, but I need you to come with me. I have some things I need God to deal with me about, but you and I are about to embark on a journey that we need Him in the middle of," Jawaan lowly says.

My mind swirls, and the melody coming from the organ feels like it's bouncing off my chest when Jawaan and I enter the aisle. My eyes bounce around the room with each step toward the altar before landing on Zion's back. Tears glisten in my eyes, seeing Zion with his hands raised in praise while one of the ministers prays with him. Just before we reach the front, Pastor Reese's penetrating gaze lands on Jawaan and me, causing my blood pressure to elevate from the intensity of his observation.

"Ah, I've been waiting for you two," Pastor Reese declares.

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