Page 39 of Counting His heartbeats

My mouth opens before closing when Jawaan and I are ushered in front of Pastor Reese himself instead of one of the available ministers at the altar.

"Think it not strange that you two are here today. God showed me the two of you during my prayer time this morning. I found it odd because I have never met either of you. Yet, I never question God when he places me in the position of intercedingfor his children," Pastor Reese voices, causing me to lightly squeeze Jawaan's hand.

"God told me to tell you that your due season is here. He also told me to tell you to let yourself off the hook. It wasn't your fault, and you aren't to blame. He's saying that he's removing the stain and the pain," Pastor Reese says to Jawaan and my eyes bulge at seeing Jawaan break down.

Jawaan's knees buckle, and I struggle to keep him from falling, causing two of the men standing near us to jump into action by helping me to keep him upright.

"Today, God is going into the hidden places in the chambers of your heart and plucking out the roots of those things. Today is your new beginning. Your past will no longer keep you bound. In Jesus' name," Pastor Reese recites, touching Jawaan's chest, and Jawaan's body sways like he's been drinking.

Tears heavily fall from my eyes as I try to process the words God has allowed Pastor Reese to convey to Jawaan. Before I can move to comfort Jawaan, Pastor Reese moves in front of me, causing my heart to race.

"God wanted me to tell you: For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him, Amen, unto the glory of God by us. Even that which you can't speak about openly, God wants me to tell you that His timing is never a punishment, nor does it equate to His anger."

My breath hitches, my shoulders shake, and my stomach tightens upon hearing this message because I have been back and forth, thinking I failed God in some way. My miscarriage has left me feeling off and desiring a child when I didn't get the option of meeting the one I lost.

"It wasn't happenstance that you met this man and have now connected with him. God said He predestined it because you are the woman who can mend his broken heart. God said you are the woman able to love him when the world destroys him. Godsaid that through you, he will be sanctified. Whatever children coming through this union will be blessed." Pastor Reese says before his eyes shift from me to Jawaan.

"Today, I come to destroy the yoke of bondage and the plans of the enemy concerning both of you. Know this: there can be no victory if there isn't a battle. Yet your battles are the Lord's, and He's already made you victorious in Him. Remember this when you leave this sacred place and hold on to it... whatever my lot God has taught me to say, it is well. It is well. It is well... with my soul."

A light feeling enters my body, providing a sense of tranquility I have never experienced before, and in this moment, I know everything is gonna be all right.

Same Day,Time Unknown

Me:

What time will dinner be ready? We're coming, but we need about an hour or two to nap.

Sending the text to Kyce and Kayshon in our group message, I place my phone in my pocket before watching Zurmani interact with her brother. I'm leaning against my car, trying to come down from my time at the altar. I see why my brothers attend this church with their wives. Pastor Reese is the truth, which is why Zurmani and I joined the church along with Zion before leaving the altar. The news I'm going to share with my family during dinner is gonna have them thinking I've been cloned or something. Yet, when God moves, who can question His power or goodness? I just hate the jokes and commentary forthcoming with this being Zurmani's first official meeting with my family.

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.

The incessant buzzing from my pocket causes me to remove my phone because I'm sure Kyce and Kayshon are responding to what I sent.

Kayshon:

Little nigga, since when did you start taking naps?

Kyce:

We can push it back two hours because I'm not giving you an excuse not to show up, little bro.

Me:

Bet.

"Aye, man, Nae Boogie is gonna coordinate a day for us to get together. In the meantime, take care of my sister," Zion says, pulling eyes from my phone to see Zion and Zurmani standing in front of me.

I have been texting without paying attention, so their close proximity has the area around my eyes tightening.

"I got her," I declare.

Zurmani hugs Zion quickly before releasing him, and I open her door, waiting for her to get in when Zion walks off.

"Today has been great, but I'm sleepy now. I've cried so much I feel like my eyes will have me looking like I don't know how to bob and weave," Zurmani jokes when I get in and start my car.

"Mhm. This is why we'll go to my crib to nap before dinner. I feel like my emotions have been through an incinerator, and I need a minute to reset."

"Ooh, a nap sounds great. I love you." Zurmani's eyes stretch and a sneaky grin upturns my lips from the rockets firing in my mind at hearing those three words. "I... uh..."

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