Page 48 of Counting His heartbeats

Zurmani's voice is sultry and seductive, which has blood rushing to my dick when she moves to lie flat. A soft moan escapes Zurmani's mouth when I lean down, pulling her lips into my mouth, and a ripple of excitement flows through my body. Disconnecting our lips, I stare into Zurmani's hungry eyes.

"There's something freeing yet electrifying in knowing I'm the man who gets the opportunity to meet your needs. Let me see if I remember how well your nectar agrees with my palate."

A delicious shudder heats my body, and my heartbeat throbs in my ears when I move to position myself lower until my eyes roll heavenward when Zurmani's scent penetrates my nostrils. Pushing up the t-shirt covering Zurmani's body, a sly grin forms at seeing her bare lower lips grateful for Zurmani's foresight in removing the barrier of her panties before climbing in bed. Spreading her legs apart, I lick my lips while easing closer to the prize awaiting me when her nectar glistens at the entrance of her clit.

"Jawaan," Zurmani whines.

"I—"

"Whaa!"

"Wow, son. You ain't been here twenty-four hours and already cock blocking. We're gonna have to talk about your timing," I assert when Jalil's shrill cry bounces off the wall in the room.

Two WeeksLater

"How's it going over there, girl? I can't believe you popped out with a man and a baby in a matter of months. You having a two-month-old baby is tripping me out," Jamaica comments.

"Girl, I'm still fighting the urge to pinch myself from these changes in my life. Things are going well, though. I'm working on wrapping up some things with work, and then I'll go on maternity leave for eight weeks. What's been going on with you?"

"Uh, that's actually why I'm calling. I need to apologize because my actions since you've been with Jawaan have been uncalled for. The truth is, I've been struggling with the events in my life, and bitterness has prevented me from being your best friend."

My hands pause from fastening Jalil's diaper when Jamaica's voice lowers and becomes shaky. I honestly see Jamaica's opposition about Jawaan as her way of making sure another man didn't cause me the pain Aldis did. I also have been so wrapped up in Jawaan and Jalil that I haven't been keeping up with Jamaica or Evie like normal. I didn't want to become one of those women who started dating and pushed everyone to the side. Yet, Jawaan and I have been balancing a lot of differentfactors than most relationships, so there has only been time for us to focus on each other. I feel terrible that I sprung Jawaan and Jalil on my parents, brother, and friends, but things moved faster than I had time to prepare.

"What's been going on? I apologize for my distance. Life has been tossing me to and fro, but it doesn't excuse my neglect."

"I've been sneaking and messing around with a man who has been filling my head with so much confusion until I could be a walking billboard of warning signs. He wined me, dined me, fucked me but has never committed to me. I met him on one of those dating sites and fell into his web of deceit. I found it difficult to believe that you could meet a stranger, and it go beyond the toxicity Jawaan initially was coming with."

A creak in the floor causes me to see Jawaan entering the room with his sights on Jalil. A lazy smile collides with the warmth flowing through my body upon seeing Jawaan winking at me and securing Jalil's diaper before picking him up and leaving the room without a word.

My man is so damn fine. Whew. God, I didn't see Jawaan coming but thanks for seeing fit to add to my life with his presence.

"Girl, I wasn't prepared for Jawaan's toxic ass either, but I will say that his public persona and private actions are vastly different. He's the most attentive and loving man I have ever been with."

"Trust me, it's something to savor because these niggas ain't shit. My lover had me sucking his toes just to get him to rub my back. Now, that nasty shit is toxic, and I can't believe I lost myself trying to secure a relationship. I blame my wack-ass daddy for not instilling real love into me. Damn."

"Hold up, you were doing what?" A deep frown twists my lips, and my nose scrunches like the smell of chitterlings is suddenly permeating the air.

"The worst part is that ain't the worst thing the nigga had me doing. I ate so many groceries from that nigga that I should be able to maintain my size the rest of the year, although I enjoyed pegging that ass. The power I got from watching him moan from me pushing big black in and out of him was whew... magical." Jamaica laughs.

"Ewe. Nope. I'll pass on all that. Show me a man who enjoys pegging, and I'll show you who prefers dick no matter who it's attached to."

"Period. I will say it's addic?—"

"Wait, you're still messing with this man after all that? Say it ain't so," I cut Jamaica off, and my eyes stretch while my right hand rests on my chest.

"Mhm. Now you understand my jealousy because while you're being dicked down and on your way to happily ever after, I'm settling for pegging from a man who refuses to admit he's not into women."

"Wow." I'm at a loss for words to communicate, leaving me nearly speechless.

"I know. Sorry for every negative reaction to the great things happening in your life. You deserve to receive all of it, and I will no longer put my bullshit on you. You have always been a supportive friend, so the least I can do is reciprocate what you've always given. Now, how is my nephew?"

Ten Minutes Later

"What was that for?" Jawaan asks when I kiss him before sitting next to him and Jalil, who is resting comfortably on Jawaan's chest.

"I just realized that I love you and am where I'm supposed to be. I never saw myself overcoming the sting of a horrible relationship that ended after a miscarriage, but then God sent you. Volunteering in an area where I never saw myself being a direct participant in had to be in God's plan for my life. It's crazy that I didn't realize the moment my pain had been healed because this little one had gotten all of my attention. Do you know I was trying to avoid going to the hospital because I was growing too attached? It hurt to know he wouldn't be going home with me once he got better," I confess, running my fingers through Jalil's curls.

"My attachment is why I did keep going. I couldn't see myself missing a minute of being in his presence. I'm grateful that God chose us to be his parents. Y'all have become my reason not to hide behind a mask. Everyone sees me as this jokester who can smile my way through everything. Yet the truth is, it's what I did to prevent showing the tears, the fears, and the devastation I feel behind my closed doors."

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