Page 141 of You, As You Are

“Well, they did today. And he could barely pick his feet up when he tried to leave the stand.”

Iain shifted his weight, looking down at her like the pieces of what she said were coming together in his mind. “You think something is wrong with him.”

Maisie didn’t want to be insensitive, but yes, she did.

Her hands brushed down to rest on his chest. “I think that’s why he’s trying to contact you, and that’s the only reason why I’m suggesting you call him,” she said. “I think you’ll regret not finding out. And what if it’s something that could affect you too one day? You don’t need to be worrying if itwillfor the rest of your life.”

Iain stared at her for another two drawn-out breaths before looking away as if he’d been defeated. He’d once described his mind as a mess and she could see it stirring then, trying to make some sense out of this information. His breaths had evened out but the muscles beneath Maisie’s palms were still tense. He was an elastic band stretched too far. One slip and the band would leap into life and shoot away. She didn’t want that.

It was a few indecisive beats before Iain went with slow, heavy steps to his kit bag he’d left by the front door hours ago. Choosing to take a seat on the sofa – Maisie hoped it might encourage him to sit, too – she watched behind her as he rummaged, pulling out his phone. His hand trembled as he came round to sit on the cushion next to hers.

“Do you want me to do it?” Maisie softly offered, her body angling towards him braced and seated beside her.

Eyes low, Iain shook his head. He gripped the phone tighter in the gap between his wide-set knees. “No. It’s fine.”

With a few taps, he unlocked the screen, hovered his thumb over a contact that was as empty as one you’d expect to have for your dentist, then called the number. As the dial tone rang on speakerphone, Ted wandered over and hopped up beside them, curling and resting his head on Iain’s thigh.

Hunched forwards, Iain sat tense; his broad shoulders and bent spine called out for the soothing rub of Maisie’s hand.

The dial ended.

“Hello?”

Maisie recognised the man’s voice from the morning. It held the same detached tone as Iain’s when he’d discoveredwhoshe’d been there with in the stands.

She held her breath as Iain dug his blunt nails down through his beard. “Da?”

Alun’s pause on the line made Maisie’s stomach inch higher towards her heart. “Iain ...”

“I heard you went to my game,” Iain said, his old gruffness roughening his voice.

“Yes … Met your girlfriend. She seems like a lovelydynes Saesnes?*. Wouldn’t stop cheering you on the whole match.”

Girlfriend.Maisie’s heart kicked up into a desynchronised rhythm. They hadn’t talked about what they were exactly yet – it’s what she’d tried to get him to talk about earlier before he’d backed down. Things were so up in the air, and now with this rift with his father making that air tense, she had a feeling she would be suspended in unlabelled uncertainty for even longer.

Looking over at her, Iain said something in Welsh, though his eyes were so intense Maisie couldn’t imagine what it was. So much of him was still a mystery unfolding for her, and there were parts that he probably didn’t want her to learn by overhearing like this. He might say the things he needed to if she wasn’t here looking over his shoulder.

Standing, she left to give them privacy.

Fifteen minutes later, Iain came upstairs, his feet heavy on the steps. He mustn’t have realised that she’d left his bedroom door half open, because when he paused on the landing and hung his head, she saw the way it shook, how he raked his fingers through his hair.

Ted, who’d wandered upstairs to her ten minutes ago as if worried she’d gotten lost, picked his head out of her lap when the door creaked open.

“How did it go?” Maisie asked softly.

Iain trudged through his sparsely decorated bedroom, putting one knee on the bed which she’d remade, and then the other. Crawling up next to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and let his weight go against the wooden headboard with a sigh. “Something definitely isn’t right,” he lamented, then said the last thing Maisie expected. “I’m going to drive over tomorrow. My brothers will be there too.”

“I’ll come with you to see them, if you want,” she offered. “Even if it’s just to wait in your car while you go inside.”

“I’d appreciate it. Thank you.” Iain sounded as tired as he looked.

Ted bumped Maisie’s stomach with his nose, prompting her to resume her petting. “I think I’ll need to go and seeNaintoo. I think I upset her this week.”

Iain’s brows drew together. “What happened?”

“She let herself in whilst I was on a work call, and I got irritated. I told her she had to tell me when she wanted to come over.”

She’d done a little more than that – she’d started off into a full-blown rant.

---