Page 148 of You, As You Are

Maisie’s sniffles came unbidden as the burning sensation of tears rolled on stronger. Her hands gripped Iain’s sleeves at his forearms whilst he held her elbows and guided her the steps towards her sofa. “She went dizzy and fell,” she said. “She hit her head, and she’s at the hospital.”

“Ronnie took her?” Iain lowered her to the sofa and sat beside her. Tenderly, his fingers cupped her cheek and his thumb swept the tears under her eye.

“I found her.” Maisie dabbed the cuff of her cardigan sleeve to her other cheek. “She was just … lying there.”

A silent sob wracked her body. Iain wrapped his arms around her and rested back against the cushions, drawing her with him, so Maisie buried her face in his chest and held onto his coat with as much strength as her tired grip would allow.

“I was so scared, Iain.” She sniffed. “I couldn’t find the spare key at first, so I had to ram the door. I called the ambulance, but she’d been on the floor for half anhour, Iain.”

Maisie didn’t want to think about what could’ve happened if she hadn’t decided to go round and talk to Vera this morning, clear the air about the boundary she’d not so nicely set in place. Ronnie hadn’t been due back from visiting his brother for another couple of hours, and if she hadn’t gone to the house by then …

Both the paramedics and the doctors in A&E had said Vera was lucky to have been found when she was.

Her chest hitched in little gasps, and she curled into Iain.

“It’s alright,” he hushed her tears, stroking his hand down her spine. “You did everything right.”

It took Maisie a minute to compose herself. “The hospital is keepingNainovernight for observation in case she starts to bleed internally. They said she should be fine to come home by Tuesday.”

“Ronnie’s with her?”

She nodded against his shoulder, the waxy fabric of his coat damp from her tears. “I texted the group. Did you not see it?”

“I haven’t looked at my phone since I left town this morning.” Guilt coated Iain’s voice that rumbled beneath her cheek.

He was the only one who hadn’t called to ask what’d happened to Vera, and in Maisie’s panicked haze, she’d forgotten that she was supposed to have been with him today for moral support. She’dpromisedhim that she would be there when he went to see his father, and even though it wasn’t her fault, she’d let him down.

“You went to see your dad,” she said with a hint of hesitation. His frustration in how he’d stormed up here didn’t bode well for whatever had gone on in that meeting. “How was it?”

With a sigh, Iain ran through what had happened – that his brothers wanted to buy him out of the property and farmland, the truth about Alun’s diagnosis. Maisie littered in apologies for letting him down where she could.

“So you’re going back next weekend?” she checked.

The coarse hairs of Iain’s beard shifted at the crown of her head. “Standing order,” he said. “Every Sunday for a couple of hours.”

Good. It was good that their meetings were going to be on his terms. “And your mum?”

“Where she’s staying is down near Cardiff. It’s a fair way to go but I’m going to see her.” His thumb absently traced her shoulder as she embraced him in return, glad of the momentary distraction from her day.

“You’ve been the bigger man today,” she said. “I’m proud of that. You could’ve been angry and hurtful out of spite, but you weren’t.”

“I was mad at you though,” he hushed, “and I shouldn’t have been. I should’ve realised something was wrong. I should’ve come looking for you.”

So many things thatshouldhave happened. “You didn’t know what was happening. I could’ve texted you?—”

“Vera was more important.”

Maisie picked her head off his shoulder. “And she’s theonlyone more important to me than you.”

It might not be the right moment to say how much he meant to her, but the confession had come naturally. Iain’s eyes sharply met hers, and for once she couldn’t read them. Her heart raced. The questions that she’d been wanting to ask about what their relationship was now couldn’t wait any longer.

Her heart pounded both heavily and hollowly. “Iain … I know we’ve had fun the last couple of weekends … but I needto know what you want from this between us. I’ve had enough disappointment from men being closed off.”

He swiped his tongue across his lips, saying nothing for a long moment, until he did. “I don’t know.”

His honesty hit Maisie right in the centre of her chest. He could have lied – could have told her what he thought she wanted to hear. Gaze falling, disappointment rose like the rising tide through her hollow bones, filling the lump that sat at the base of her throat. She didn’t know why, when an answer so uncertain was exactly what she’d known Iain was going to say all along.

“I ruined my own life twice by standing up for what I wanted,” he said, sadness sitting heavy in his voice, “I can’t go through that again.”

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