Page 45 of You, As You Are

It took Iain a long minute to answer. In the meantime, a few of the pensioners tossed glances over their shoulders that Maisie guessed were supposed to be covert, before knocking their heads together.

“I worked on a farm,” he mumbled as if he was ashamed to admit it.

Maisie wasn’t daft; she knew the stereotypes unfairly labelled upon agricultural folk. Her mind jumped back to theirconversation where he’d mentioned having experience with animals and had not wanted to elaborate.

She didn’t know much about farming; unsurprisingly central London didn’t have a large agricultural scene, but she could work around that. She was determined to help him if he’d let her.

“What did you like about it?” she asked.

Iain looked off towards the peak of the hill they circled. “The land,” he said. “The animals.”

Land …Maisie’s gaze circled the landscape and came back to the trail they walked. “Why not do this?”

Iain glared expectantly, but Maisie was beginning to see that he didn’t ever have malice behind his stares. It was just the way he looked. She still squirmed under them regardless. The force of having his attention was so …powerful.If he climbed all the way to the top of that hill while she stayed down here and looked at her like this, she was sure she would still feel it in the same way.

“Walk,”she elaborated.

“People don’t get paid to walk.”

“But theydoget paid to do hiking tours and lead groups.” The harsh cut of Iain’s brow softened as she elaborated. “You know these trails, clearly, and it’d be outdoors. You could take Ted with you, too. I’ll even help you with a website?—”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Iain cut her off, his bear-like hand gesturing between them. “This isn’t going to happen.”

“I think you’d be good at it.”

Iain’s eyes snapped to her so suddenly that Maisie almost lost her footing. His stare like that was rather unnerving, and her heart kicked against her breastbone.

“What?” she prodded.

“You think I’d be good at it?” The quiver in his voice made Maisie want to reach over and soothe him somehow.

Her chest ached at the stunned look on his face as she asked, “Has no one ever told you you’d be good at something before?”

Iain’s attention fell to the trail at his feet, and one big wave of sadness for him swept over Maisie.

What kind of life had this man led for him to think he’d fail at any adventure?

“You could do it,” she promised as she reached to give his arm a comforting squeeze. “If you found something that you genuinely enjoyed, then I think you’d be a different person, and it’d help you feel happier.”

She didn’t say it to cause him grief; she knew how hard it was to find your path in life. Her friends had been her biggest support through figuring out what she wanted to do with hers. Sienna and Faye had been her first customers when she’d startedMaisie By Design.Even Bash had bought a jewellery set for his mum. It wasn’t polite to make assumptions about Iain’s friends when she didn’t know them, but she suspected that he didn’t have that kind of person in his corner.

He didn’t shake her off, didn’t nod or disagree. Just kept on walking onwards while her words looked like they stewed in his mind.

The prospect of sitting down was the only promise that kept Maisie moving forwards. That hill – though not as bad as a cliff – hadn’t been fun. The ground was too soggy from yesterday, and yet they’d still marched forwards.

Her body wasn’t used to this. She missed pavements, she missed red buses and trains and taxis. Plus, the sudden dull ache in her lower back –yayfor having a uterus – made her a little slower today, and she tried to hide the grimace on her face everytime the ache shifted into her hips and the tops of her thighs. She wasn’t even on her period, this was just her life, and it wasn’t fair.

The route that they walked gave way to narrow country roads and the town ofPenegoes, before bringing them back to Maisie’s favourite thing: more farmland. None of which was level at all. She had one foot higher on the incline than the other, with her arms out like an imitation of an aeroplane just to keep some semblance of balance, squeaking with every slip and slide.

Iain had Ted tethered at his side since sheep were about, but the dog didn’t seem to notice them much. Maisie had run out of fingers and toes to count the number of times Vera and her friends had glanced back at their slower trio, which meant that she couldn’t hold her tongue on the topic ofthemfor another minute.

Her foot slipped on the dewy grass. “Oh forfff—” Her cuss fizzled out as she grabbed Iain’s sleeve and tugged him to stop.

“What are you doing?” He gave her a hard look that she ignored.

“I can’t keep this in any longer. This is going to sound absurd?—”

“Probably.”

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