Page 53 of Only Ever You

Matt’s excuse passed strangely believably. Still, Saira gave them a dubious look before she left and Bash already knew Matt would spill the beans about this later. Coerced by his other half or not.

“This conversation isn’t over,” Matt whisper-shouted on his way out behind his wife.

“It absolutely is.” Bash shoved the condoms deep into his bag and zipped it up so determinedly it should’ve broken.

* My god

17

FAYE

Nobody warnedFaye that mornings in the P-D household began early – though not as early as hers normally would. Her body had woken on auto-pilot and she’d lain in bed staring at the sliver of curtain which hadn’t closed completely last night, watching the sun inch higher over a stretch of landscape for two hours before Bash rolled off of his stomach, groaning and stretching like a groggy child.

For five minutes they’d been face to face, albeit he’d still been fairly out of it in his consciousness, and Faye had been so awake that she’d thought about skipping her morning coffee entirely.

And now Bash acted strange.

He walked further away from her along the frozen-over tractor’s track, following rank behind Michèle and Arthur through the frosted fields like penguins on a march. Matt and Saira brought up the rear with their girls, all bundled in scarves and gloves and plodding along in bright pink welly boots. Faye spotted a small beanie-like cap on the rounded end of Maya’s wrist, too.

Nothing had happened to make her think that it – whatever had put Bash in this distant mood since they’d left the house – was because of her.

They’d been more physically close than usual last night. With Bash’s taller build and the natural logistics of sharing one duvet, they couldn’t exactly have kept five feet between them all night. Though there’d been no waking up to anything invading the space between her thighs this time (as if Faye needed the reminder).

Nothing since then had been out of the ordinary, either.

She quickened her pace and reached out to poke Bash’s arm through the padded, black sleeve of his coat. The tip of his nose came up pink as he looked over at her. His cheek didn’t look so bruised today from the tennis incident, which was a good thing, because ever since he’d shown up at her flat at one a.m sporting that graze, Faye had wanted to take care of him. More than usual, anyway.

“Why didn’t Uncle Mortimer join us?” She wasn’t sad about the fact but she couldn’t help her curiosity.

“Walking isn’t really his,quote, ‘thing’.” There was a definite eye roll as Bash straightened to watch his step on the uneven ground. “It’s probably best if he didn’t come anyway.”

The general attitude towards Mortimer’s rudeness yesterday didn’t seem to have been a one-off. Faye had an extensive list of family members, some who she’d grown up not getting along with out of awkwardness more than dislike, but she couldn’t ever imagine any of them looking down on her so cruelly, like she was a screw up, which was the whole vibe Mortimer gave off towards Bash for some unknown reason.

She dodged a lump of earth, deciding there was enough distance between them and the rest of Bash’s family to ask her questions softly. “It’s probably not my place to say anything, but wouldn’t you ever like to make up with him?”

“It’s not me who needs to change, Peanut.” Bash said it so wearily, as though the same conversation had gone round and around in his mind for years.

“But if he did, would you want a better relationship with him?”

He toed a stone along his sunken track, moving it on with little kicks. “I thinkthat … sometimes removing someone negative from your life is more necessary than giving them a second chance.”

Perhaps it was the pessimist within Faye who always reared its head when talking about any kind of relationship, but she agreed.

“He’s had the time ever since my parents married to change his ways, and he won’t,” Bash added, then turned his face to her. The hood of his orange hoodie bunched around the back of his neck like a scarf, and some errant curls sneaked out from under his beanie. “Why are you asking all of this?”

“I rarely see you frustrated,” she said. “Andhemade you so angry yesterday. I don’t want you to have to feel like that.”

And Faye just wanted to understand. She was the outsider here, and if Mortimer was staying then she didn’t want to accidentally say something which might cause a rift between anyone.

“It’s easily forgotten. I don’t want to waste my spoons on feeling like that.”

Wires must have crossed the wrong way within Faye’s brain, because she could’ve sworn he’d said ‘spoons’.

“Your …spoons?”

“Yeah. My spoons.”

“What are you talking about?” She laughed.

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