Page 80 of Only Ever You

She tried to steel herself but it didn’t quite work. “Yes.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

That was the clincher of it. The thing Faye’d tortured herself with for weeks.

She inhaled unsteadily. “I didn’t know how.”

“You just say it. You justtellme.” Bash tossed the green mass of his jumper in the general direction of his hold-all. At least he hadn’t reached for that yet to leave. “How long have you known?” His brows drew together as though it hurt him to ask such a thing.

Faye was too attuned to him to ignore the jitteriness in his movements, the loudness of his breaths, a swipe of his tongue to his lips.

Beneath the cotton of her dress that was suddenly too thick, she broke out in acold sweat. She’d hoped he would get over her leaving for a while, but she didn’t think he’d take too kindly to how long she’d known about it.

“Since October,” she confessed, and Bash went still.

“Two months?” He pinned her with a damning look as his voice finally rose a notch. “Two monthsand you didn’t think I’d want to know this stuff?”

“I was going to, I swear.” Behind Faye’s eyes began to burn.

“You said you’d signed a lease. You must have been looking at properties. What about telling me back then?”

Something in the way that she was completely wrong, and how everything Bash threw back at her made sense, made the next breath Faye took, shake.

“I … I’m sorry.”Please don’t say it’s too late,was all she could think of as more apologies tumbled from her mouth. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just—you’re my best friend, Bash. I didn’t know how to tell you that I have to leave … without you.”

A tear slid down her cheek, one she didn’t recognise until it hit her skin and she swiped it away.

“Shit, Faye—” Soft cotton and woodsy cologne drew her in.

No –she didn’t deserve his hugs. Faye tried to resist as her silent crying hitched in little gasps, but Bash held onto her tighter.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, I—I’m just shocked,” he said gently above her head. “But I’m happy for you, Peanut.”

He was? He had an odd way of showing it.

Faye nuzzled into his shoulder, forgetting she wore make-up that definitely wouldn’t stand the test of tears. She felt like she was falling apart but all of her broken pieces were held secure in Bash’s arms.

“You’ve always wanted to expand the bakery. I just can’t imagine you being so far away,” he said as his fingers moved back and forth at the nape of her neck.

That touch of sadness in his timbre fractured another chip off of Faye’s heart.

She couldn’t imagine there being so much distance between them, either. If they weren’t so close to one another then maybe it wouldn’t have mattered so much. Or maybe if she stepped away and looked at their friendship through someone else’s eyes, she’d see that all of these emotions and reasons for not telling him were every indication she loved him so much more than she’d ever told herself so.

Loved him …

Shelovedhim.

And she’d known it all along.

“It’s only for a year.” Faye sniffed in an attempt to compose herself with the wordlovecirculating to every inch of her body. “Maybe not even that long if things go well.”I love him.“And I’ll come back down to London, of course I will.”

Had Bash worried that one day she’d just up and leave without saying a word?

“I guess I’ll have to up the data plan on my phone then,” he said, “because you’re wrong if you think I’m not going to be FaceTiming you every day.”

I love him …

Faye’s small laugh was wet and breathy and severely unflattering.Every daywas a bit excessive, since they didn’t even see each other every day as it was, but she would take it. She’d take Bash making jokes over their fighting, always.

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