Page 9 of Only Ever You

If Faye’d learnt anything in the last twenty-nine years of her life, it was that a long term relationship was doomed, and she wouldn’t want to spend such special holidays with someone who would only disappear afterwards. In her heart, a life-long love was all that she yearned for, but how likely was the reality of that?

Nope. She could let those thoughts sit and stew in her imagination as fantasies.

“I think so too,” Bash agreed.

“Who are you jetting off with?” Faye whirled to walk backwards, teasing.

He looked anywhere else but at her and chuckled. “No one, yet.” His tone tailed off at the end, and that wordyetmade Faye want to prod.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning …” Dragging his feet as he stared at the ground ahead of them, Bash’s grimace looked like he considered answeringuntil he plastered on a smile that was see-through. “I don’t know. Ignore me.”

“No. Come on.” Bash never hid his feelings from anyone, let alone her, which set off warning alarms in Faye. She aimed for light and gentle encouragement. “If you want to tell me, then I’m all ears. Literally.”

“You don’t have big ears, Peanut.”

“Big enough.”

Bash sent her a shallow smile of least resistance which faded fast. “I’ve been thirty for three months,” he lamented, “and I just feel like my life should be going places when it’s not.”

The way Faye’s frown deepened would require extra attention in tonight’s skincare routine, because how long had he had those feelings?Threemonths? She’d never seen someone more excited before to turn thirty than Bash, and now …

Now that she looked at him –reallylooked at him, at all of his forming crinkles around his eyes, their shadows deepening under the streetlights, plus the tension around his mouth, those thoughts and feelings were so obviously there within his eyes. And she’d missed them. Maybe they’d been there before tonight and she’d never seen it, or she’d failed to realise that something other than his work had been playing on his mind. All of which made Faye feel like a shitty friend.

Her tone sobered. “Places?”

“Like … a new house?—”

“I love your house,” she interjected.

“Abiggerhouse then.” Bash twisted to her when he said so and the flash of dismay on his face made Faye want to cling to him. “A garden.” He looked down at his feet and she braced for what she realised was coming next. “A family.”

Oh.He’d never mentioned that before – not to her anyway. She’d assumed he wasn’t all too bothered about settling down just yet, given the copious dates he went on each month. There’d been at least two different women in October that Bash hadseen, and probably more hehadn’ttold her about. He didn’t speak much of his love life and Faye always put it down to the fact she wasn’t one of his ‘bros’.

But shedidknow that, even if it wasn’t what he’d actively chased for since she’d known him, Bash wanted that white picket fence life. You’d only have to look at how much he loved his nieces to know that, or even his friends. He was a big chunk of marriage material wrapped up in snuggly jumpers and blue-green eyes, but he never let any women close enough to snap him up; Faye didn’t understand why.

And as for his house, it was a Georgian townhouse mansion spanning five floors with four bedrooms, home gym, multiple reception rooms, and a regency-style kitchen that wasto die for. How much more did he wish to have?

The answer wasn’t in material things, and Faye knew that.

With Bash’s hands still planted in his pockets, she hooked her arm with his and drew him into her side, making him stumble a step.

“You’ll get there, I promise you you will,” she said, and she meant every word. “You’re only thirty, that doesn’t mean you’ve got one foot in the grave. Loads of people are doing the whole marriage and babies thing later in life anyway these days.”

A humoured chuff broke through Bash’s silence. Head cocked, he eyed her. “How do you know?”

“With the exception of your brother, how many of your friends actually have kids?” Faye thought about Freddy, but his co-parenting situation didn’t really count in this instance. She meant hisotherfriends – the guys he still saw from university days or his sports teams, or even from work.

Bash visibly thought about it and sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.” In a sweet gesture, he patted her arm linked with his elbow.

Though it hurt Faye to promise – “You’ll get there,” her voice soft and purposeful.

An opulent, lit-up decoration shaped like mistletoe, withshards of light bouncing off of the tinsel wrapped around the wired frame, passed them overhead.

The idea of letting Bash go forever to some other woman’s arms was … hard to find peace with. Faye was selfish for wishing it never happened. What claim did she have over his heart?None. He would get his picket fence life one day, but it would never be with her.

Not unless …

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