Page 31 of The Suitcase Swap

Noah leaned into his husband and let out a sigh. ‘And you’re even worse, Mike. I love youdearly,but you’re making yourself miserable. Did you have a good time last night?’

‘Yes,’ Mike admitted.

‘Then what’s the problem?’ Noah asked gently.

It was the gentleness that undid him, making the words that Mike wanted so desperately to hold close to his chest spill out. ‘I can’t give her what she needs. I can’t – I don’t know if I can love anyone again the way I loved Tara.’

Noah’s face was sympathetic, while Rahul dropped his gaze, his throat working.

‘I loved her so much,’ Mike said, his voice breaking. ‘She was myheart.’

Noah made a soft sound, an understanding hum. ‘I never got to meet Tara, but from what I know, Mike, she would hate that you’re denying yourself happiness. Be upfront with this woman. Tell her that you might not be able to give her anything permanent. Why can’t you enjoynow?’

Mike’s head snapped up. ‘That seems . . . She deserves more, surely?’

Rahul sighed. ‘I’m so glad I’m not straight. Straight men areexhausting.’

Noah shook his head. ‘Mike, has it occurred to you that she might not want more right now either? She just got divorced. In her place, I’m not sure I’d want to be looking for anything but a for-now kind of hook-up.’

It had literally never occurred to Mike that Sophie might want anything other than something long term. He blinked at them, words failing him.

‘Bloody hell, Dad, did you even talk to this woman?’ Rahul looked at Mike’s expression and shook his head. ‘For fuck’s sake, try and catch up with the times. You’d better phone this Sophie and apologize on your knees.’

‘He’s right,’ Noah said gently. ‘You made a pretty big assumption there. At the very least, you need to apologize for how you acted and try to explain, if you want to salvage any kind of friendship with her.’

‘And go big, Da. There’s no way you can go too lightly on the grovelling here,’ Rahul said. ‘Learn from my experience.’

‘I have been married before,’ Mike grumbled. ‘And I was just as much of a pillock then. If your mother taught me anything, it was how to make amends after things had gone pear-shaped.’

Noah made a sympathetic face. ‘You might have to get creative.’

Mike sighed and finished his coffee.

Chapter Nine

Sophie sat on Tom’s couch, eating pizza and watchingThe Great British Bake Off, which for some reason was calledThe Great British Baking Showhere.

Tom was at work, but Marisa was watching with her, though she also had Sophie’s phone, and her attention was mostly on the video from the previous night. She puffed out her cheeks. ‘Holy shit. Watching you two.’ She fanned her face with her piece of pizza, which didn’t so much fan as flop.

Sophie made a noncommittal noise.

‘Interesting,’ Marisa said, dragging the word out. ‘You disagree? Because I’m sensing a story here.’

Sophie had also watched the video, obviously, in order to edit and post it. The process had been difficult for her as she’d tried to decide what any of it meant. Mike had held her close, his hands possessive, but that was also a requirement of the dance. He’d looked at her – how had he looked at her? Hungrily? Or was that just what she’d wanted to see?

After the divorce . . . well. She didn’t trust herself to assess such situations any more. After all, she’d been surprised by Andrew’s cheating. Then she’d had to face that she’d been ignoring the very real fact that it had been a sad, miserable kind of marriage at the end. It was so obvious now. If she’d been able to miss allthat, then who was she to judge any of Mike’s actions properly?

He’d been interested enough to kiss her, and while the kiss had been scorching, maybe he was just a good kisser?Chemistry didn’t necessarily mean compatibility. Ultimately, he’d been the one to stop. Which was his prerogative. She certainly didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to do.

That being said, she wasn’t sure if she could have put on the brakes herself. It had been intoxicating, and she was mortified by the idea that he hadn’t felt the same. The evening had left her with a strange mixture of desire and shame that she didn’t care for, and underneath that a little bit of hurt as well. It was an off-putting emotional cocktail and she was cutting herself off. No more of that, thank you very much.

‘That’s a whole lot of thinking going on there.’ Marisa took another bite of her pizza, her eyes narrowing. ‘You know I’ve got all day, right? I can wear you down slowly over time.’ She made a face. ‘Normally I wouldn’t press you. None of my business, right?’ She slumped heavily into her seat, an annoyed cast to her features. ‘It’s just – have you ever been so sick of your own bullshit? I know I need to process everything. I know I need to deal with the trauma, and that takes time, but I’m so exhausted by everything being about me.’ She reached for another slice of pizza, her hand hovering in indecision. ‘So for the love of god, Sophie, let me wallow in your drama for a minute. Forget that I’m engaged to your son. We’re just two women sharing hot goss. Spill the tea. I’ve seen how much of it you drink. You should be full of the stuff, soshare.’

Sophie really didn’t feel like talking about it – her insides feltraw. But she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take care of Marisa a little. She was also starting to understand what Marisa meant by beingso sick of her own bullshit.‘Fine. I’ll talk about it if you eat another slice of pizza.’

‘Blackmail, Sophie? Really?’ Marisa selected another piece. ‘You’re ruthless.’

Sophie grabbed her own slice. ‘I’d apologize, but I’m not really sorry.’

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