Page 64 of The Suitcase Swap

Noah: I want a divorce.

Amaya: Dad, are you pinching the bridge of your nose right now and counting to ten? I bet you are.

Mike was, in fact, doing exactly that and wondering why he’d thought his children would be helpful.

Noah: Sorry, Mike. How can we help?

Mike: I don’t know what to wear.

Noah: So you summoned the gays. Smart move. Or it would be if your son could dress himself.

Rahul: I still don’t understand why you hated that shirt, but I got rid of it!

Amaya: I want pictures, Noah.

Noah: Done.

Amaya: You remain my favourite brother-in-law. Dad, do you have options?

Mike took photos of the three outfits he had and sent them. Instead of a reply, he got a link to a group video chat, whichhe regretted clicking on before he’d even touched his thumb to the screen. Rahul and Noah were cuddled together on the couch, Noah with a stemless glass of wine in his hand, Rahul with a beer. Amaya joined a second later from Mike’s flat, sitting in his easy chair, her arm around Barney the plant.

After greetings were exchanged, Mike checked his watch. ‘I have fifty minutes until she gets here, and I need at least ten of those to finish cooking.’

‘Right,’ Noah said, straightening up. ‘The suit is out. Too formal for a dinner at home. You also want to consider your layers – you don’t want too many to take off.’

Rahul turned to his husband, an amused expression on his face. ‘I’m trying really hard to not think about my father’s sex life and you’re not helping.’

Amaya’s lips were pursed, her gaze on the ceiling. ‘What about that thin grey jumper Noah got you for Christmas?’

Mike shook his head. ‘Didn’t bring it.’

Noah tapped his fingers along his knee. ‘Okay. Turn the camera and show me your wardrobe?’

Mike did as he was bid, thumbing through the options.

‘Wait,’ Noah said. ‘Go back. The dark purple one.’

‘Really?’ Mike asked, though he was already grabbing the hanger. ‘I usually wear it with a suit, which tones the purple down a bit. You don’t think it’s too flashy?’

Rahul rolled his eyes. ‘You want to be a little bit flashy, yeah?’

Noah smiled. ‘There’s a reason male birds are usually so brightly coloured. You’ve got to shake your tail feathers. Besides, that colour will bring out your eyes.’

Mike set up his camera on the dresser as he shrugged into the shirt. ‘If you say so. What should I pair it with?’

‘Jeans,’ Amaya said. ‘The dark pair. Roll up the sleeves of the shirt, but don’t tuck it in. And Dad? No socks.’

He frowned at her. ‘Really?’

She nodded slowly. ‘Really, Dad. You want to look clean and like you made an effort, but also like you’re slightly undone and halfway to the bedroom. Also, no one – and I mean no one – looks sexy while they’re hopping around removing their socks.’

Mike’s fingers slowed as he did up his shirt. ‘I really don’t want to know what you’re basing this opinion on.’

Amaya rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t be a prude, Dad.’

Mike put on the jeans, finishing up the outfit with his watch.

‘We need a fit check, Dad,’ Amaya said. ‘Walk back so we can see the outfit and turn and walk towards us. Like you’re on a runway.’

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