Page 102 of The Beast's Heart

On Sunday I join Jonathan for his lesson prep in the library and he talks me through what he’s working on with each of the children. On Monday night, I accompany him for cocoa and story time and then he sits upstairs with me while I complete some foundation work. On Tuesday, after we put the children to bed, we sit in the kitchen playing cards with Lily-Iris, Ray and Angus. Lily-Iris beats us easily. On Wednesday, Geoff resigns effective immediately, to return to the promotion.

I think I always knew he would. At least since I realized his true motive in being here. He’s a master of spin, one of the best PR people I know. His talents were wasted here.

On Thursday I struggle to get out of bed.

The dark moods come on unexpectedly, like the weather over the Highlands. And, like the storms, there is nothing I can do but let them pass. The foundation needs me. Now more than ever. But my limbs feel useless, my mind awash with grey.

I eventually force myself out of bed to get something to eat at about three. Ray is in the kitchen, mixing batter, and they frown when they see me. “You don’t look too hot, you coming down with something?”

I grunt and pass behind them to check in the fridge. “We’re quarantined.”

“You didn’t have another fight with Belle did you?”

I grab a carton of milk and take a large gulp. It feels easier than making food.

Ray swats my hand. “Stop that.”

“We didn’t fight. Was he looking for me?” Guilt surges through me.

“Not that I know. He’s been in the classroom.”

“Good.” I set the milk back in the fridge. “That’s good.”

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Ray reaches past me into the fridge to pull out a loaf of bread.

“Just the usual.”

“Go sit.”

I do, slumping heavily into the chair. I feel hungover. Ray starts slicing the bread. “I heard about Geoff. You think he ever left?”

I was wondering the same thing. He loved working for the promotion—wrestling was his life—and they paid him better than I could. I was surprised when he agreed to join us here. “Don’t know, don’t care,” I say.

“You were perfectly justified letting him go. You can’t have people prone to violence around the kids.”

“Unlike me.”

They level a look at me that clearly says they know I’d never punch anyone outside of the ring and that I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

“I know I was justified. But I can’t help but think I’ve done the foundation a disservice. Good press was one thing we had on our side thanks to him and his contacts.”

Ray slides a plate in front of me. They’ve made me a peanut butter sandwich. “Eat.”

I have to force myself, but I know I’ll feel marginally better when I do. The bread is fresh. “Delivery came in?”

“Mmm hmm. Was expecting you a lot earlier.”

I’d forgotten. In my depressive state, I hadn’t thought about what day it was. I stand, but Ray clears their throat and gives me a stern look. I sit back down and pick up my sandwich.

Ray makes me finish it and down a glass of water before they allow me into the pantry where the boxes are waiting.

The last surprise I tried to pull off didn’t go very well. I hope this one will go better.

40

JONATHAN

Adam is waiting outside the classroom when I finish up for the day. His hair is hanging in a loose tangle, his black hoodie is creased. I wait for Mal and Ben to run past, shouting their greetings, followed by Enrique, who has his arms out and is pretending to be an airplane, finally Alisha, who gives Adam a concerned look, but follows after Enrique without saying anything.

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