Page 111 of The Beast's Heart

Jonathan nods, but he doesn’t seem reassured.

45

ADAM

Bringing Geoff on board changes things. Suddenly we have interviews with celebrities who experienced care that we can splice into our stream. He somehow managed to convince the promotion to donate some of my old memorabilia from their archives. (“You want your fans to watch the stream, don’t you? They’re not going to be bidding on old books, that I can promise.”) He even has the idea of creating a line of merchandise for the auction that we can sell online. Apparently he saw some YouTuber doing it.

It’s Jonathan who suggests that the children design the merch. It’s Jonathan who ensures I’m billed as Adam, not Beast. It’s Jonathan who spends hours writing descriptions of each item that Geoff can list on the website he’s created for the event, and Jonathan who takes photos and researches the value. And, of course, it’s Jonathan who helps the children pick out their outfits and order them online.

As valuable as Geoff has proven, I could not host this auction at all without Jonathan. I try to show my appreciation in every quiet moment we get. Which are way too few and far between.

We schedule “our” auction for the night before the actual stream. We’ve already filmed and sent a lot of pre-recorded content to Geoff that he’s been using to promote the event. One of my favorites of these was one Alisha suggested, where she interviews us all about the charity. Enrique sat on Jonathan’s lap the whole time and Ben was adorable in a little tuxedo and bow tie, talking seriously about helping other kids.

Now, all we have left is our little gala. Jonathan has been running around with a clipboard checking off all the shots we need to get recorded, edited and sent. But tonight, aside from a few cutaways where we introduce specific items that he thought would benefit from the ballroom ambiance, we should be able to relax and enjoy ourselves. It feels like a celebration of a job well done. It feels like more. It feels close to goodbye.

It’s been a long time since I wore a suit and the blue jacket feels a little tight across my shoulders. The bow tie feels like it’s going to strangle me. I look at myself in the mirror and imagine Lloyd standing next to me.Tonight’s the night,he says.Be bold, be daring, mon cher.

He’s not talking about the auction.

You won’t find a better time. Tell him the truth and ask him to stay.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I’m still deciding if I should wear it loose or braid it back. Braided, I think. It’s neater. I look around for my brush.

You care for him, don’t you?Lloyd asks.

“More than anything,” I mutter.

Then you must tell him.

As I exit my wing and approach the stairs, Jonathan is approaching from the other direction. He looks amazing. His suit is black, but his waistcoat is a yellow gold, embroidered with jumping fish. He sees me and smiles. I offer my arm to escort him down the stairs.

Before he can accept, the children come running after him, laughing and loud. He breaks away from me, waving his hands at them. “Hold on, calm down please. We don’t need anyone tripping and falling before you even get to the party.”

The boys are all in little tuxedos, even Enrique. They look like they’re on the way to a wedding. Alisha is in a stunning glittering green dress with layers of chiffon that make her look ethereal. I hold out my arm to her instead. “Madam?”

She grins and accepts and we all walk down together into the ballroom.

It’s already alive with music playing from some speakers that we rigged up. It’s not exactly an orchestra, but it gets the job done. A long table lines the one wall, filled with treats. Ray is laying out the last few. They’re in a maroon velvet suit—I wasn’t sure if they’d wear a suit or a dress. They’ve been debating this outfit for weeks.

They’ve outdone themself with the food. There’s a huge variety of cupcakes and tarts and… is that a chocolate fountain? It feels a little pointed and I scan the room for Meredith. She’s wearing a midnight blue sheath dress and she’s talking to Angus and Lily-Iris on the far end of the room. Angus is in navy and Lily-Iris is in something pink and frilly that sets off her red hair.

“Everyone looks so lovely,” Jonathan says at my side as the children sprint for the desserts.

“Especially you,” I say.

He laughs softly and our hands brush. Then Ben is summoning him to look at one of the treats.

I’m only standing alone for a moment before Meredith comes over. She discusses logistics and points out the cameras that are recording the night. There’s a little stage set up where I need to reveal a few choice items, and well-lit nook where we’ll both be recording inserts talking about the foundation. This is set up so that the party appears in the background. Hopefully it will work out so we’re talking about the kids while they’re having fun behind us.

“Don’t be nervous,” she says.

“I’m not nervous.” Not about the auction, at any rate.

“I mean it, Beast. If you’re nervous it will read as uncertainty. The best thing you can do is relax. Spend time with the children, try to have a good time. We’ll need it for the B-Roll.”

I laugh, I can’t help it. “Speaking of nerves...”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not nervous. We only have everything riding on tonight.”

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