Page 122 of The Beast's Heart

Color rises to Charles’s cheeks and he clears his throat. “Technically it’s the investment firm that runs the app, but yes.”

“It’s pretty awesome,” Brian says. “It’s got this algorithm that recommends stocks based on the good that a company is doing in the world. Philip uses it. I would but, you know, not exactly rolling in it at the moment.”

From there the conversation moves to what Brian’s been up to since the coffee shop where he and Elam work has been closed. I hear all about his bread experiments for a second time. Elam, however, is fascinated and before long the two of them are swept up in a conversation about yeast.

“Thanks, by the way,” Zane says softly. He’s seated to my right. “For everything you’ve done for Belle. I know it’s probably costing a fortune.”

It takes me a moment to realize he’s referring to Jonathan’s father and not Jonathan. “I’m happy to help if I can. Did you speak to the surgeon yet?”

It’s Jonathan who answers. “No. Tomorrow morning.”

I squeeze his hand beneath the table.

Zane gets pulled into a conversation about having a husband in medicine during the pandemic and he and Brian swap warstories. I rub my thumb across the back of Jonathan’s hand, trying to give what comfort I can.

After dinner, I offer to help with the dishes, but Elam tells me to, “not be silly.” Zane is less easily dissuaded and follows him into the kitchen.

“You’re welcome to stay over,” Charles says to me. “There’s more than enough room.”

My heart kicks. I look to Jonathan. His eyes are already searching my face. “I… all right, if it won’t be an imposition?” My question is addressed as much to Jonathan as to Charles.

“None at all,” Charles says. Jonathan squeezes my hand.

“You’re also welcome to stay,” Charles tells Brian. But Brian shakes his head and stands.

“Nah, I should get back before Philip gets up. I’d like to see him before he goes on shift. It’s been great though. Really.Reallyreally.”

50

ADAM

After seeing Brian off, Charles leads us upstairs. He pauses on the landing. “I can make up a spare bed for you. Or…?”

Jonathan’s hand slips into mine and heat races up my spine.

“That won’t be necessary, thank you.”

As soon as Jonathan’s bedroom door closes behind us, he has his arms around my neck and his lips meet mine. I grab at him, hungrily, drinking in the taste of him. It feels like it’s been months since I held him. I feared I might never get to hold him again.

We nearly trip over his suitcase in the dark, trying to get to the bed without letting go of each other. Then he’s pressed against the closet, and he’s pulling at my shirt and I have to take a breath.

“Are you sure you want this?” Even this is whispered against his ear because I don’t want to pull away far enough that my cheek stops touching his soft skin.

He breathes raggedly against me, fingers flexing in the fabric of my shirt. “It’sallI want.”

“Jonathan… you’re vulnerable right now. Last time we spoke, you… I just don’t want you to regret this.”

He turns his head enough that our lips brush again. I kiss him. I can’t stop kissing him. “Please, Adam… please,” he whispers between kisses. “Please, I don’t want to think. I don’t want to hurt. Please. Someone’s going to cut my dad’s brain open tomorrow and I might never get to speak to him again. I just want to forget for a few hours… I just want…”

Comfort.“It’s okay. I’m here.”

We eventually find our way to the bed, where I undress him slowly, covering him with kisses. This might be the last time I get to touch him like this and I want to commit every inch to memory. I never want to forget the silky feel of his pale skin, the light brush of hair across his legs and chest, the precise way his nipples pucker when I lick them, the sounds he makes as he arches his back and begs for more.

“Adam… please…”

“What do you need, baby?”

I’ve never called him a pet name before. What a time to start.

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