Page 37 of The Beast's Heart

“Oh yeah, of course. But I knew it would be worth it if we pulled it off. Lloyd wasn’t very happy with me, as you can imagine.”

Ray counts off on their fingers, “Three broken ribs, a burnt chest, lacerated shoulder and possibly a concussion.”

“You should have seen the other guy,” Adam says, with a small smile.

“I did,” Ray says. “Sorry, boo, you came off worst.”

“Wouldn’t be a very good heel if I hadn’t.”

“And The Beast was back out fighting the next night,” Geoff says.

“‘Course I was. It was my big break.”

“In more ways than one,” Meredith says bleakly.

They continue to talk about the business, the topic moving onto people they knew and where they are now. Geoff is the first to drop off to sleep, with his mouth hanging open. At first I think that he’s acting, but the snoring and drool in the corner of his mouth confirm otherwise.

Mal and Ben drop off next. Meredith walks around the edge of our circle, quietly blowing out the candles, then settles beside Alisha, with her arms wrapped around her knees, listening. Alisha nods off too. Her head drops onto Meredith’s shoulder. Meredith and Adam exchange a look, before Meredith eases Alisha down to rest her head on her lap, Enrique still in her arms. Here like this, she looks her age. Sixteen isn’t really that old at all.

Eventually Ray stretches and yawns. They place another log on the fire, then declare they’re going to try to get some Zs too, and they stretch out under a blanket, as if this really was a camping trip.

“We should all rest,” Meredith says softly. “I hate to think what time it is.”

Adam nods, but he makes no move to lie down as she stretches out and makes herself comfortable.

I don’t move either. Everything is warm and quiet, but I’ve never felt more awake. I cradle my mug and focus on the fire, trying not to think about how close Adam is. For a time, there’s no sound but soft sleep noises and the gentle crackling of the logs.

“So—” I start.

Just as he says, “I wanted to?—”

He smiles and gestures for me to continue. I shake my head. I have no idea what I was going to say.

He looks down into his mug. It’s that same shy look that came over him when Mal asked about the wrestling. “I owe you an apology.”

My stomach leaps. He sounds so sincere. “For what?”

“For the way I’ve acted. I haven’t exactly made you feel welcome.”

“Oh, I… thank you but it’s not necessary.”

He sighs and drains his mug, then reaches across Meredith and Alisha for the bottle and tops himself up. He offers me a refill but I shake my head. After another deep drink, he whispers. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. That’s the truth, Belle. I’m not the person who should be doing this. It’s like I’m on this…” He waves a hand absently. “...this road trip. And the person who planned it all out, who has the map and everything, they couldn’t make it. I figured, how hard can it be? Turns out, pretty fucking hard.”

His voice is soft, but he glances at the children to make sure they’re still asleep and haven’t heard his language. It’s oddly endearing.

“You’re so good with them,” he says.

“I have a lot of nieces and nephews. And, uh, you know, qualifications.” I take a deep drink from my mug. He’s being so earnest, and here I am lying to him about my identity. Maybe I should just come clean. This would be a good time, wouldn’t it?

But how do I even start?So, while we’re being honest actually I should apologize because I’m not the person you hired, I committed fraud to be here.That’s certainly going to go down well.

Adam stares into the flames and the firelight softens his features. “I grew up with certain ideas about what was expected from children, how to raise them right, make them good members of a community. But now… I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

“I don’t think most parents do.”

He looks at me sharply.

“Tell me, what did you intend when you started this project to reform the foster system. What does that mean to you? Just funding?”

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