Page 63 of The Beast's Heart

He catches my meaning. “Didn’t she close the mines?”

“Yeah. I was a year old when her government announced they were closing twenty pits. That meant something like twenty thousand jobs lost. Including my dad’s.”

“There was a big strike, wasn’t there?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what my father was like before then, but after that... He was scarred. He had this big cut down the side of his face.” I trace the line down my own cheek. “But not just externally. Anyway, after that we moved to the US. Wyoming. To say we weren’t welcomed is an understatement.” I shake my head. Jonathan didn’t sign up for this. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get into it.”

“I don’t mind hearing it.”

Maybe it’s the intimacy of the space—the dimmed room, the smell of flour, nothing around us but shelves and parcels—but I confess, “I never wanted to be like him. Sometimes, when I’m talking to you about the children, I hear his words echoing back at me. I hate it.” I put the stuffed cow back in its box. “You should give all this to them. It shouldn’t come from me. It was your idea. You deserve the credit for it.”

“Nonsense.” Jonatan reaches out to touch my knee, then seems to think better of it and withdraws again, carefully packing away some of Enrique’s toys. “It isn’t about credit. The point is that the children feel wanted and cared for. You want them and you care about them. This is just an opportunity for them to see that.”

He smiles at me, his gaze warm and soft. Then he picks up the poop emoji and squeezes it. We both laugh.

26

JONATHAN

We decide that Adam will set up their rooms during dinner. He’s missed enough meals that they won’t suspect anything’s up. There’s no possible way I can tell Adam how badly I want to set up the roomswithhim. This isn’t for me. It’s for them. And this is the best way for the surprise to work.

We let the other staff in on the plan. It really comes together when Meredith produces a game of Monopoly that will buy him more time.

“Excellent, you can turn my children into capitalist shills,” Adam jokes.

I’m about to tell him about the educational benefits of board games when I realize what he said.My children. I choose not to correct him.

I rope Geoff and Meredith into playing and Ray keeps Enrique busy. Geoff plays an aggressive game, throwing up hotels as quickly as he can. Mal gets quite angry when he goes bankrupt and Ben tears up when he’s sent to jail. I’m wondering if I made an awful mistake when Alisha surprises everyone with a sudden rush of purchases that sets Geoff on the back foot. Thechildren rally, working together to try knock Geoff down a peg. I have to admit, I love every minute of it.

By the time the game eventually ends (with Alisha owning the board), Enrique is nodding off on my lap. Ben immediately asks if we can play again.

“Not against me,” Geoff says. “You’re all cheats.”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Geoffrey,” Meredith says, with a little smirk.

“You’re not allowed toteam up.”

“I’d argue teaming up is the only way to beat capitalism,” I say. “Although, what do I know? I don’t work for a charitable foundation.”

Geoff is rendered speechless and Meredith laughs. The children all stare. I gather I’m not the only one who’s never even seen her smile.

“All right you lot, time for bed.” I climb to my feet, still holding Enrique. He seems comfortable so I’m not going to make a big deal of it. I’m just going to carry him as if my heart isn’t bursting at the fact that he’s letting me.

“Not yet!” Ben protests. “It’s still early!”

“What about games?” Mal asks, frowning deeply.

“Thiswasgames.”

“But—”

“But, if we get ready for bed now, there will still be time for some cocoa. Come along.”

I should have expected they wouldn’t take the interruption to their routine well.

“We always get to play games before bed,” Ben says quietly. It’s the closest he gets to whining.

“All right. Fine. If you want to play games once we get upstairs maybe you can, but you’ll have to ask Adam.”

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