Page 83 of The Beast's Heart

That includes Geoff. I’m the only other person who’s been in his room.

He sighs. “Look, Geoff and I did have a…thing.But it was never serious. He made his interest clear when he first joined the promotion, but I was married at the time so that was not happening. Then, after Lloyd… well, I wasn’t going to say no to comfort. Except it was empty comfort. My grief frustrated him. He wanted more than I was able to offer and I came to realize the whole thing was unhealthy for both of us and I stopped it. He’s good at his job, but if I’d known that he was still so… I shouldn’t have hired him.” He takes the paper back from my hand and dabs at the cut again, so gentle. “This is my fault. I promised you’d be safe here.”

“No, this isn’t your fault at all.”

He takes fresh paper and carefully cleans the lower half of my face. “Bleeding seems to have stopped, but the swelling’s started. We should get some ice on this.”

I agree and he takes me down to the kitchen. Thankfully, Ray seems to have gone up to bed already. We’re alone. I sit at the table and Adam gets a pack of frozen peas and wraps it in a cloth.

“It really isn’t your fault,” I say. “You couldn’t have guessed Geoff would act that way.”

He sits beside me andpresses the peas to my face. The cold is horrible and I flinch away automatically. Adam cups my opposite cheek in his warm hand, holding me still as he tries again. I squeeze my eyes shut against the cold, but the numbness is welcome once it sets in.

He shakes his head and mutters, “Fuck. I can’t believe he’d do this. Heknowsyou could have a fucking concussion.”

“He didn’t seem to be thinking very clearly.”

Adam grunts again.

“Are you really going to make him leave the house?”

“He’s fortunate that’s all I’m doing.”

I press my lips together. I hate that I’ve caused this. “He said the foundation isn’t doing well financially.” I watch Adam for reaction, but he just looks angry. Brow furrowed, jaw set. “Don’t you need him here?”

“Hehityou.”

“I know. But, I mean, it’s boxing. I agreed to the lessons. Did he go a little overboard? Perhaps. But getting hit is part of the sport, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps? Belle. If you honestly want to learn to box,I’llteach you. And I can promise you won’t come away looking like that. Worst of all, he went for yourhead.”

“In fairness, he went for my stomach too.”

Adam levels a dark look at me.

“All I mean is, maybe he doesn’t have toleave. We can talk this through once everyone’s calmed down.”

“What do you know about head injuries, Belle?”

“I know the brain is delicate, but he was wearing gloves.”

“So was the man who nearly killed me.”

33

JONATHAN

Adam lifts the peas from my cheek. I stare at him.

“Everyone believes the reason I quit wrestling is because of Lloyd’s death and my grief. The truth is Ican’twrestle anymore. When he died… when I lost him... I didn’t stop. In fact, I threw myself into it— I wanted tohurt. While the world thought I was mourning, I was doing my best to fucking kill myself, or externalize my pain, or… I don’t even know. I came unhinged. Nothing mattered anymore. I took any fight I could find, in the streets, in the clubs, in the amateur rings, with a mask and costume like some dumb carnival Batman. And one night, some amateur shit punched too hard. Broke my orbital, gave me whiplash and a concussion. A bad one. I nearly lost my eye. When I was in recovery, they scanned my brain and discovered I nearly lost my life. It took me a while to recover. Months. It’s a bit of a blur but the long and the short of it is that the next concussion I get could be my last. You can’t fuck with the brain. And Geoff knows all this. He was there. He helped spin the whole thing.”

I don’t know what to say. The question that tumbles out of my mouth is, “Why?”

He narrows his gaze. “Why?”

“Why did you need to spin it?”

His mouth hooks into a small, private, smile. “Because that’s what it’s like, being a wrestler. It’s lie after lie after lie, whatever makes the promotion look good. And your star bad guy getting his ass handed to him by a nameless jerk? That doesn’t make you look good. I’m lucky they didn’t sue me for breach of contract.”

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