Page 56 of Pretty Poison

My soft shakes become a nod. “Yes. White lies are harmless. They inflict more good than harm.”

“Exactly, little one, exactly. So I dare you to lie to me now.”

“About what? I told you everything Apollo told me. I don’t think I left anything out.”

“We’re not talking about your brother now, Liana. It’s anything but.” He repositions himself over me, his legs on either side ofmy torso. “Do you think less of me now that you know what I’m capable of?”

A soft hum escapes me as I process his words. “I don’t think anything’s changed for me,” I admit. “I always knew you were capable of bad things—dark things. But, I haven’t changed my mind since seeing the skeletons in your closet… Or in this case, the people in your basement. I hate that it had to be them, but I know they're somewhat safe there. They’re not at risk of danger anymore.”

“Being here doesn’t mean they’re not in danger anymore, Liana.”

“If you want anything from me, you’ll stop hurting them. You will stop. I won’t be with a man who hurts my family only because he can.”

“You can’t stop what’s already in motion, little one. This has been happening for years, and until I get results—good or bad—it’ll keep happening.”

“No,” I say, spitting venom in his face as I try to push myself out from under him. “I know you’re a good person, Dario. I know there’s good in your blackened heart, you just refuse to fucking see it. You let the bad overrun it.”

“It’s who I am, Liana, who I learned to be from a young age.” His hands grip my arms, pinning me down in place. “It’s all I’ve ever known. My father taught me everything I know. He showed me that while we don’t have to resolve everything with violence, the things that we do, should be seen through to the very end. If they aren’t, I’ll be seen as weak and easily corrupted. I can’t let go of the person I’ve made myself because you asked me to.”

“I’m your wife, Dario; that should mean something.” The words slip out, shocking me, before I can even register them. But the way he reacts has me melting beneath him.

His hands release me to hike up my dress until it’s bunched up around my waist, his knee gently pushing my thighs apart. A devilish smile appears on his face, and he leans closer, placing his lips on the tip of my nose.

“Being my wife means nothing when it comes to my job. You will always, always come second to it all.” He places another kiss in the same spot. “But only because I was married to my job long before I was you. Things can change,peoplecan change, but this will always stay the same.”

“I know your job comes first,” I whisper. “But can it make you as breathless as I do?” The words slip free as if they have a mind of their own, but I show no weakness. If my mind wants to expose me, so be it.

Before he can speak, I continue. “I see the way your breath hitches in your chest when your eyes find me. It’s like an inexplicable force that controls you, forcing you to bite your tongue and withhold your actions until I’m gone. Like you’re afraid you’ll scare me away or something.”

“What can I say, little one?” he admits, teasing. “You’re like a dessert dressed in white, begging to be tasted. Tell me, do you ache to be devoured like the need festers within me to devour you?”

I pause, taken aback by his words. I was having a little fun teasing him, but I have no comeback. I don’t know how to respond.

“Cat got your tongue?” he teases, licking his lips with a look of desire in his eyes. “You can’t be nervous forever, Liana. One of these days, you’ll yearn for me the way my body yearns for you.”

What if I already do?

The difference between feeling and saying is that one of them makes it real. If you feel something and withhold it, nothing comes of it. But if you announce it to anyone but yourself, it becomes something shared between two people—or whoever you decide to share it with. Declaring my need for him and how it’s slowly turning into something I no longer understand makes it impossible for me to stay in control.

“Nerves keep me in check,” I admit in a single halting breath, afraid that if I even flinch, he’ll try to dissect my words. “If I… If I say something you don’t like, it’ll become impossible. All of this will become too hard to handle. I’ve lost everyone in my life, and recently found my brother again. I can’t risk all of this—this life, this family… you—for my feelings. It’s selfish and I’m anything but that.”

“It’s not selfish to want something good for yourself,” he says, brushing a loose strand of hair from my forehead, and tucking it behind my ear. “As long as it’s me you want and not some other bastard, it’s not selfish, Liana. You already have me. Our relationship might’ve started off for beneficial means, but I’ve grown fond of you being around and that will never change. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“How do I—” I cut myself off, this time thinking my words through. “How do I let impulse take over when there are so many things I don’t know about you? How could I ever forget the way you tortured my brother into believing he had no hope? How can I ever trust that you would change your ways to be a better father than you are a man?”

My words take him by surprise. His head recoils and I watch his throat work as he swallows.

Moving off me, he lays at my side, propping his head on his palm as he balances himself on his elbow. “You’re not the only personwho doubts their parenting skills… But as my mother always says, ‘you’ll never know you’re good enough until you try’. Her words make me believe I will always do my best until I physically can’t. It will never be my intention to hurt my children, but I will shape them to be strong and vigilant. They’ll never make it otherwise.”

Following his lead, I turn onto my right side, my hands placed beneath my head for support.

“My parents raised me the best they could, overcoming so many obstacles that they never once judged me for becoming the man I am. Death is something we see every day, and we can’t look away from it because it’ll seem weak; the same goes for anything else others outside of our world deem as wrong.” His eyes flutter as if he hates his thought process. “I know what I’ve done to your brother and friend is wrong, but it’s what’s necessary to our cause. You have to understand that I’m doing this because I have to, not because I want to.”

Reaching my hand to his cheek, my finger caresses his skin. “Just because we’re not on the same wavelength, doesn’t mean I view you any differently. I know you’re a strong man doing what he thinks is right, but sometimes, beliefs change. Sometimes, you view the world from someone else’s eyes and realise that you could’ve handled certain situations in a different way. And sometimes, good things come from a change of heart.”

He hums, closing his eyes and exhaling. “A change of heart at my age is simply off the books. I have too much at stake—”

“I’m not saying to change yourself so much that you don’t recognise yourself when you look in the mirror; I want you to make changes about things you’ll regret. Do you…” I trail off, pushing back the lump in my throat. “Do you regret the waythings transpired between the guys and yourself? Do you regret how you handled that situation?”

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